Page 92 of Quiver

“I always thought of myself as strong, steady, controlled, but in those moments, I got a glimpse of something terrifying in me,” Fletcher continued, her voice hollow, and its chill made Kylie shiver. “I was afraid of how low I got. The power of those emotions scared me in ways I’d never been scared of anything before.” Fletcher closed her eyes and swayed a second as if the darkness of those memories might be rushing up to overtake her again.

Kylie was about to reach out, to catch her and pull them both back up in the way neither had been able or willing to do for each other back then, but before she could grab hold, Fletcher’s dark eyes flashed once again, and this time they met hers with a cold, hard gaze.

“I had to slam the door and lock it to hold the monster at bay.”

Kylie nodded, understanding on a level beyond words.

“Then I learned to shoot first, and not just with arrows, though I did pour much of my helplessness into practice. I learned to take a defensive stance with people, with relationships, with my own emotions. I’d never survive another betrayal, so I couldn’t let myself get into that position ever again. I’d always thought firing was attack, power, action, but after you left, I learned to shoot first as defense so no one ever got close enough to hurt me again.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Kylie said.

“Then I guess there’s one place I was wrong. Maybe you don’t always get what you want, because you did hurt me.”

Kylie’s chest ached and her eyes stung. “I don’t want to do it again.”

“Good,” Fletcher said with more resignation than anything else. “If you genuinely mean that, you’ll go home after my doctor’s appointment.”

Kylie tried to nod, but her chin only fell to her chest and stayed there, too heavy to be lifted under the weight of the past and her current sense of obligation. She didn’t have the wherewithal or words to make a defense or try to summon an apology, but at least she didn’t find her usual urge to argue, either.

“I’ll go as soon as you get the all clear.” She accepted her sentence and listened to Fletcher’s footsteps fall on the stairs all the way to the top without ever once adding she might be able to leave, but if Fletcher really forced her to leave this place, there was no way she’d ever be able to go home again.

“Clean bill of health,” Fletcher said as soon as she stepped through the door to the barn where Kylie and Ava stood waiting for her and Bex to return.

Ava beamed happily. “All better? One hundred percent?”

“Well,” Bex drew out the word in a way that undercut the confidence Fletcher hoped to project to the group. “Let’s say, ‘healing impressively.’”

“What does that mean?” Ava asked, and while Kylie hadn’t stepped any closer, she leaned her arms on the half wall of Winston’s stall and gave Bex her full attention.

They’d all wanted to go with her this morning, but Fletcher had put her foot down, so they’d decided Bex was best suited to serve as driver, chaperone, and medical interpreter for the group. Still, Fletcher could speak for herself, so she cut in before Dr. Leone had a chance to get rolling.

“The wound has closed nicely with no signs of infection. I still have full sensation in the area, which means the nerve endings are working.”

“What about the sutures?” Ava asked.

“They’ll dissolve or come out on their own. No more chance of pulling them out by accident or causing the puncture point to open.”

“Very little chance,” Bex corrected, “but things like showering can get back to normal.”

Fletcher purposefully avoided Kylie’s eyes and the memories that news would spark if she allowed it to.

“And I can return to regular activity.”

“Slowly,” Bex added the unwelcome modifier. “No tossing hay bales or riding bucking broncos on the first day.”

“Right.” She wrestled the narrative back. “I need to listen to my body and stop if soreness escalates to pain, but feeding horses and raking hay should be fine.”

“What about riding and shooting?” Kylie asked softly.

“Yes,” Fletcher said at the same time Bex said, “Maybe.”

She rolled her eyes. “The doctor, my doctor, not Dr. Leone, said I’m not restricted from my regular activities as long as I don’t have any pain when I try.”

Bex nodded. “I don’t disagree with the assessment, with the addendum you not try to do everything at once, so if there are consequences, you can isolate which activity caused them.”

“So, like, go back to riding one day, and then try shooting the next before combining the two?” Ava asked.

“Sure,” Fletcher agreed, partially because she wanted to be pragmatic in her approach, and partially because she would’ve said almost anything to get them off her case. “And I’ll even start on Winston to be safe, but if you all don’t mind, I’ve been off work all week. I’m ready to get back to some semblance of my life again.”