Page 94 of Quiver

With no sign of the person whose interest she most longed for, her shoulders and her heart both sank a little lower, disappointment compounded by the fact that she still cared about Fletcher’s opinion more than anyone else’s.

Kylie collected her arrows, then gathered Winston’s reins, trying not to make too much out of the fact that Fletcher had already set up for the class before she got here this morning, so they didn’t get to work together so much as on parallel tracks.

Then again, she’d had plenty of time to practice pretending the distance between them didn’t ache. At least Fletcher’s emotional outburst last week had more context. Those moments had been raw and nearly as painful to watch as they must’ve been for Fletcher to relive. She’d all but drawn Kylie a roadmap to her fears, her pain, and her coping mechanisms, particularly the propensity to shoot first when triggered. Maybe it would’ve been easier to overcome if Kylie didn’t share that particular impulse, but that also helped her understand its power. She’d spent the days since then working excruciatingly hard to keep from hitting any of the land mines between them, and as a result, she felt certain they’d broken their all-time record for being in each other’s company without combusting in one way or another. Still, she couldn’t shake her suspicion that the peace had not brought with it any of the progress the fraught fire of prior weeks inspired.

Her uneasiness about that contrast still unsettled her nerves when Fletcher led Gabrielle into the arena.

Kylie turned, letting her eyes wander over the pair of them. Fletcher wore jeans that hugged her toned ass and legs. Kylie’s gaze lingered on her thigh flexing under the leather straps of her thigh quiver before the meaning of the detail burned through her haze. She widened her inspection to include Gabrielle, who’d been in the arena with them all week, only today she wore the rich Australian saddle Fletcher preferred for shooting.

“Hey.” Kylie’s throat constricted, and she tried to keep the fear welling up inside her from seeping into her voice. “What’s the plan?”

Fletcher’s dark eyes swept over her as if she’d forgotten she was there, and Kylie clenched her teeth against the sting. So much for absence making the heart grow fonder. They’d been emotionally distant all week. Now Fletcher seemed primed to do something drastic without even caring about how much it terrified Kylie.

“I’m going to warm Gabrielle up for class,” she said flatly.

“Please don’t.” She hadn’t meant to sound so pleading, but the hint of emotion must’ve landed behind Fletcher’s walls, because the set of her shoulders softened slightly.

“I want to lead everyone through the whole progression at a walk as many times as possible. It’ll be good practice for Gabrielle to be around that many things going on at once.”

“Okay.” She drew out the word as she fought the urge to argue outright. “Are you sure both of you are ready?”

Fletcher clutched the pommel of the saddle. “There’s one way to find out.”

Kylie swung off of Winston in an instant, causing Fletcher to falter. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know. I mean, helping, or catching …” Kylie’s voice trailed off. There was nothing she could do. The helplessness of that realization made the arena floor feel like quicksand.

“Hey,” Fletcher said calmly. “I’ve been bucked off before, and if I’d let it stop me the first time, I would’ve missed out on everything I love about this life and this sport.”

Kylie nodded. She understood, at least intellectually, but knowing something and feeling okay with it were two different things. “I just … when I close my eyes, I still see all the blood.”

“I’m sorry.” Fletcher sounded genuine enough, but not nearly as affected. “But I can’t give up on something I’m passionate about because I got hurt once. Besides, I made a commitment to working with Gabrielle, to helping her learn and grow.”

“But she’s still skittish and jumpy and unpredictable.”

Fletcher stroked the horse’s neck and ran her hands through her sorrel mane. “Yeah, but she’s also young. She got scared and made a mistake because she got pushed into something she wasn’t ready for. That’s as much my fault as hers.”

Kylie’s breath caught at both the explanation and the ease with which Fletcher offered it.

“I’ve kept her too sequestered. I hadn’t thought about what it would mean for her to be locked in my little bubble for too long.” Fletcher grabbed hold of the saddle once more and swung herself up into it. “She needed more exposure to the wider world at a younger age. It’s not unreasonable for her to bolt the first time I let her loose.”

The ache in Kylie’s chest expanded. “So, it’s more about age and lack of experience than some deep character flaw?”

Fletcher leaned forward to pat Gabrielle’s flank. “I suppose. She doesn’t seem particularly flighty right now. We have to learn to trust each other more until we figure out how to work together better going forward.”

Kylie pursed her lips as the back of her eyes stung slightly, and she blinked a few times to set them right again.

“What’s wrong?” Fletcher asked, finally seeming to notice her distress.

“Nothing.” She sighed and looked away.

“Obviously it’s something. Are you angry at me or just worried?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. Both. Neither. Hearing you talk like that, I can’t help but wonder why this horse gets afforded that level of care and understanding and forgiveness for her actions, and I don’t.”

Fletcher sat back, her eyes wide, lips parted as an exhale stirred the dark curls along her brow, but she didn’t say anything.

The longer the silence spread between them, the more the chasm grew and the more it hurt. Finally, she stepped back and shook her head before turning to go. “I guess that tells me everything I need to know.”