Page 103 of Before We Break

With Quinn’s permission, when Lexi’s name is called, Auggie rushes to the edge of the stage with a bouquet of yellow roses he chose at the market on the way here. He spent most of the show at the school-provided daycare, and we picked him up just in time to watch the finale.

Quinn takes the roses and ruffles his hair before walking back into the line for the final bows. The curtain closes again, and we head straight for the backstage entrance. It takes a while to get through the crowd. When we reach the corridor, Lexi’s standing there with Hayden in their matching tie-dye shirts, her palm on his cheek as she brings a much larger bouquet to her nose.

By the way he’s looking at her, it’s clear he’s head over heels for my baby girl. I start to walk forward, but Noah pulls me back. “Give them a minute, mama bear.”

“But—”

He wraps his arms around my shoulders from behind, resting his cheek against the side of my head. “Nothing’s going to happen with us standing right here.”

Hayden’s hand flexes at his side and he says something that makes Lexi smile. She pops onto her toes, wrapping her arms around him. It takes him a moment to reciprocate, but when he does, he melts like ice cream on a hot day.

“Can we go now?” Auggie whines, practically vibrating with anticipation.

Lexi finally notices us. She threads her fingers through Hayden’s, and they walk over together. My heart skips a beat as the memories from my past collide with my present.

Noah releases me, and I embrace my daughter, holding back a myriad of emotions. Being a mom comes with a lot of highs and lows that often work in tandem.

I have immense pride for the wonderful person she’s become, but there’s a part of me that will always grieve the little girl she used to be. I yearn for a time when a scraped knee was our biggest concern.

Now she’s on the cusp of adulthood, and she’s already had to learn about grief and loss. I wish I could shelter her from heartbreak, too. All I can do is be there for her when the time comes.

Auggie hugs her around the legs.

She lowers to his level and gives him a proper hug. “Thanks for the flowers, little dude.”

“Welcome.” He stares up at Hayden, who towers over both of them. “How come you kissed my Lexi?” he asks, his tone completely innocent.

Hayden’s cheeks turn scarlet.

Lexi laughs. “That’s part of the play. It’s just pretend.”

“Oh.” Auggie screws up his face. “Do Uncle Noah and Cici play pretend too?”

Noah and I exchange a look, struggling to suppress some combination of mortification and laughter.

Lexi laughs. “No, I don’t think they’re pretending.”

Suddenly my chest feels too tight, and I can’t seem to get a full breath.

Auggie starts to shuffle on his feet.

“Potty dance,” Noah says. “We’ll be right back.”

He takes Auggie to the bathroom, leaving me alone with Lexi and Hayden.

“You ready to go? I thought we might treat you to dinner to celebrate.”

Lexi looks between Hayden and me, shifting from foot to foot. “There’s actually a cast party. Can we have dinner another night?”

My stomach sours with the harsh sting of rejection. Not something I was prepared to weather from my daughter, but I know she isn’t trying to hurt my feelings. I shove down the unwanted emotion and plaster on a casual smile. “Oh. Sure. Yeah, we can totally have dinner any time. Hayden, you’re welcome to join us, too.”

“Thanks, Miss Marsden.” He spots someone over my shoulder and waves. Turning to Lexi, he says, “I’ll be right back.”

There’s an awkward beat of silence when he disappears from view.

“Nice flowers,” I say.

Lexi’s cheeks flush and she casts her gaze to the bouquet, rubbing one of the pink rose petals between her fingers. “He asked me to be his girlfriend,” she says with a tinge of trepidation. “I… uh… I said yes.”