Page 156 of Before We Break

With an echo of longing in my heart, I close my eyes and blow out the candle.

I wish I could stop missing him.

It’s a fleeting hope, and it’s not likely to come true, so what harm is there in wishing for it?

“What did you wish for?” Quinn asks as smoke billows off the ashen wick.

“If I tell you, it won’t come true.” I snatch the cup off the counter and take a long drink, coming away with whipped cream on my nose and upper lip.

Quinn laughs and hands me a napkin.

I clean my face, and she leans across the counter. “So, any big plans for the day?”

I ball up the napkin and toss it into a nearby trash can. “Not really. I’m meeting up with Callie in a bit. Lunch at Catalano’s, maybe stop by the library.”

My sister tried to set me up on a double date, but I declined. It’s too soon, even if the whole thing started under the pretense of learning to date again. Right now, I want to focus on more important things. I want to finally put down roots and build a sustainable life for Lexi and me. The last house we visited didn’t pan out, but I’ll keep looking, and maybe I’ll finally get that dog I’ve always wanted.

The bell above the door chimes, and I move to the side to let the next patron order.

“I should go. Come by after work and have cake with us,” I tell her.

“Wait. I have something for you.”

She reaches into her apron pocket again, but instead of a candle she pulls out an envelope. “He didn’t tell me what it was. He just said you’ll understand when you see it.”

He. It hits me like a dagger to my heart. “Noah? Why didn’t he just give it to me himself?”

She shrugs. “Don’t know. You’ll have to ask him when you see him.” There’s a subtle glint in her eyes, but the next customer is getting impatient, so I take my leave.

Standing on the sidewalk outside of the coffee shop, I tear open the envelope and pull out a small slip of paper no bigger than a 4x6 photograph.

It’s a sketch.

Noah’s bike is parked on the cliffs, and I’m sitting on his lap. The memory plays out like an old black and white movie as I lean in and kiss him, my fingers tangling in his hair. I still dream about that kiss sometimes.

So much for birthday wishes.

I slide the sketch back into the envelope and tuck it in my purse as I wait for the ache to subside.

Find the joy, Clio.

I swallow my discomfort and plaster on a smile. It’s my birthday, and I refuse to be sad on my birthday.

Callie is standing outside Catalano’s, and I practically tackle her to the ground with a forceful hug.

“What was that for?” she asks, laughing around the words.

“It’s my birthday,” I sing-song.

She holds up a takeout bag. “And I brought lunch. Figured since it’s a beautiful day out, we could go eat at the gazebo.”

I lock my elbow through hers as we meander toward our destination. Several people pass by and wish me a happy birthday, including a couple of my students. It makes me feel special in a way I’ve never experienced. Penny did her best, but it’s different having a whole community rally around you.

We sit on opposite sides of the steps, and Callie passes me a takeout box. The scent of grilled cheese wafts out of it, making my mouth water. “You got my favorite.”

“Of course. Only the best for my much, much older sister.”

I toss a french fry at her head, but she ducks out of the way, and a pigeon makes a mad dash for it. “I’m only five years older than you.”