Page 33 of Before We Break

As much as they tried to hide it, I always knew when my parents relapsed. I guess I hadn’t considered how much it would affect me to see the evidence of his trauma scribbled in crayon on a piece of printer paper like last week’s art project.

I don’t notice my hands are shaking until Clio slides her palm against mine and squeezes.

“You did a great job, Auggie,” Clio says, handing him back the paper. “I especially love Uncle Noah’s frowny face. It looks just like him.”

“Do you like it?” He peers up at me through hopeful eyes.

I ruffle his hair and muster a smile. “It’s awesome, buddy.”

Charlene stands with her clipboard in hand. “It was very nice meeting you, August, but I have to get going now.”

“Ok. Bye!”

“Would you mind walking me out?” she asks.

I nod and lead her to the apartment door.

She stops on the threshold. “For a kid who’s been through a lot, he’s doing well. I can only assume that has something to do with you. Off the record, I don’t see any cause for concern, although I would suggest a weekly therapy appointment. You’ll get an official follow-up letter in the mail, but hopefully, you won’t see me again. August appears to be in good hands.”

She looks over my shoulder, and I follow her gaze to the living room where Auggie’s sitting next to Clio with a plastic dinosaur in his hand. They’re both smiling like the world didn’t nearly come crumbling down around us.

“He’s a sweet kid,” Charlene says. “And she’s a good one.”

“Yeah. I know.”

Once the door snicks closed behind her, I lean my shoulder against it, watching the scene playing out in my apartment like an old movie reel of Jonah with our mom before everything went to shit. The smiles, the laughter, the way Auggie looks at her like she hung the moon, it’s all too familiar.

I have to keep my distance. I can’t risk leaving Auggie with even more heartache when she inevitably leaves, but how the fuck am I going to do that when I’ve just thrown us into the deep end of a fake engagement?

EIGHT

YOU CAN’T PUT CANOODLING IN THE CONTRACT

♫ Babydoll - Jamie Miller

CLIO

Noah hasn’t moved from his spot near the door, staring blankly ahead as though lost in thought.

I can’t help but feel like the timing of my arrival was kismet. Who knows what would've happened if Noah had to go through this alone? Maybe it’s just the people pleaser in me and her constant need to feel useful, but I’m glad I could be here for him even if it was panic that forced him to lean on me.

“What do you say we invite Lexi over to hang out with you for a bit? Would you like that?”

A wide smile spreads across Auggie’s face, pushing out his round cheeks. “Yes!”

I pull out my phone and shoot off a text to Lexi. A few minutes later, a quiet knock snaps Noah out of his trance.

“Hey kid.” He pulls open the door and gestures for Lexi to come inside. “Your mom’s in the living room.”

I wave her over. “Do you mind hanging out with Auggie for a bit? Noah and I need to talk.”

“Sure. Is... everything ok?”

“Yep. All good. Just some grown-up stuff.”

Before she can ask any more questions I don’t yet have the answers to, Auggie comes in with a well-timed interruption. “Lexi! Look! I drawed a cat!”

“Wow! That’s awesome! I really love his fluffy tail.”