Page 4 of Before We Break

I nibble on my bottom lip and shake my head, ignoring the way my thoughts conjure up a vision of blue eyes, blonde hair, and bulging tattooed biceps. “Nope.”

“You haven’t been on a single date since you moved here, and it’s not for lack of offers.”

I shrug. What is there to say? I haven’t been on a date in years, and it’s been even longer than that since I’ve been touched. Held. Kissed. My body aches for it, but my heart is terrified of the possibility. I’ve avoided intimate relationships my entire adult life because I don’t know how to give myself to someone, to trust them with my body or heart. I do fine relying on my instincts and sensibilities—and rechargeable vibrators.

“I’m too busy to date. School starts back up next week, and Lexi’s about to be a sophomore.”

“Lexi’s a big girl,” Quinn says in a gentle voice. “She’s driving now. You don’t need to babysit her. You should be going out and having fun. Get laid.”

“Are you getting laid?” I say accusingly.

“Well, no, but I’m not you. I have all the sex appeal of a stray cat.”

I wrap my arm around her shoulder and lean my head against hers. “You’re beautiful. Besides, I have a soft spot for strays.”

“If you keep complimenting me like this, I might fall in love with you.”

“Somebody should. I’m delightful.”

Voices and laughter drift on the slight breeze. As we turn the corner onto Elm Street, the park comes into view, and my gaze lands on the back of a man I could recognize in my sleep: Noah Weston.

My stomach clenches at the sight of the gorgeous brunette walking next to him. She’s wearing all black with tattoos down her legs and arms, laughing and holding hands with a curly-haired little boy in a superhero cape. They look like a picture-perfect family—not that I have any inclination what such a thing would be like.

“Oh, I get it,” Quinn says amusedly. “You’re hot for landlord, but is he hot for teacher?”

I let out a ragged sigh. “I am not into that dickhead. Sure, he’s good-looking, but that doesn’t make up for… everything else about him.”

When I met Noah, I mistook his coldness for stoicism. Turns out, he’s just an asshole. It was my mistake for thinking a man offering me a place to live, no questions asked, might actually be a decent human being. These days, I take great pride in my ability to rattle him. Antagonizing Noah is a skill I’ve carefully honed over the last year living across the hall.

“Don’t lie to me, Clio Marsden. I might be shit with social cues, but I know you well enough to know when you’re lying through your teeth.”

Ignoring her astute assessment, I ask, “Who’s that walking with him?”

“That’s his sister Emma, and I think the little boy is their nephew, August. He hasn’t been around in at least two years.”

“Why not?”

“Not sure. Janet would know. You should ask her.”

“Janet always knows,” we say in unison.

A glint of something shiny catches in my peripheral vision. On the sidewalk, a few paces to my right, is a bright copper penny, nearly untouched by time. A pang of longing resounds near my patchwork heart as I bend to pick it up, rubbing it between my thumb and forefinger.

I close my eyes, letting Aunt Penny’s voice carry me away. “Find a penny, pick it up. All day long, you’ll have good luck.”

I slide it into my pocket for safekeeping, swallowing down the unwanted sadness.

God, I miss her.

After Penny passed, I renewed the search for my sister—the only family I had left in the world. I found her working at the library in Willow Valley. Before I knew it, I had sold everything I owned save for a few of my most prized possessions, including the only home I’d known since I was sixteen years old, and started over in the middle of nowhere, Kentucky. For the most part, Callie and I have reconciled, but we both have wounds only time can heal.

Lexi waves excitedly as I come to a stop outside the soccer fields. I wave back and blow her a kiss. She’s my pride and joy, and I’m so unbelievably proud of the kind, thoughtful girl she’s grown into. There was a time when I was worried I might not be cut out to be a mom. I was young and naive. Still a baby by most standards. How was I supposed to raise a kid? Then I met Penny, and she set all of my worries at ease.

“All you have to do is love her, Cici. The rest will work itself out.”

I take a long drink from my paper cup, letting the flavors mingle on my tongue. “You coming to the town meeting tonight?”

Quinn sighs. “It’s mandatory, unfortunately. Gramps said he’s counting on my vote for something.”