Page 64 of Before We Break

As Lexi disappears out the door, Auggie rushes to the window, his hot breath fogging up the glass. I grab my empty plate and take it to the sink, rinsing it under warm water.

“He’s like a puppy dog,” Noah says.

“I think it’s sweet.”

I set the plate in the dishwasher and reach for my meds. I take a daily birth control pill along with ibuprofen as needed to manage my endometriosis symptoms. Some days are worse than others. If I forget to take them, the flare-ups can be excruciating.

Swallowing down the pills, I lean back against the counter next to Noah. “Are we going to talk about what happened last night?”

“The part where you asked me to kiss you?” He speaks in a cold, almost detached tone. “Or the part where we got way too carried away?”

My mouth goes dry, and words become impossible.

Same old Clio. Always making a mountain out of a molehill. Clearly it didn’t affect him the same way it affected me. It was a pity kiss. You asked, and he delivered.

Boy, did he deliver.

“Never mind. Let’s just pretend it never happened.” I push away from the counter, intent on making a hasty escape, but his large palm locks around my wrist and he pulls me back.

“Not so fast, princess.” He sets his mug down on the counter and spins me to face him, one hand drifting to my lower back. “You broke the contract.”

“We broke the contract.”

“Maybe it’s time to renegotiate the terms.”

My skin tingles where his hand has slipped beneath my sleep shirt. I don’t speak, afraid I might put my foot in my mouth and ruin the moment.

“Why should we both have to suffer when we could come to some kind of”—his gaze flicks to my lips and back—“arrangement?”

“Wh-what kind of arrangement?”

“There are ways we can make each other feel good without having sex.” His voice is a low rasp as his other hand toys with the thin strap of my tank top. “Ways I can touch you to bring you pleasure without violating the contract.”

I should push him away and end this ridiculous notion all at once, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t considering it. “This is a bad idea.”

“What’s one more bad idea on top of a thousand others? This way, we can at least enjoy our time together.”

I snort. “What? I’m not delightful enough already? You have to stick your hands down my pants to make me more tolerable?”

His lips ghost over the shell of my ear, sending a violent shiver up my spine. “It doesn’t have to just be my hands.”

I press my palm against his chest and take one careful step back, glancing over my shoulder to make sure Auggie’s not watching. Luckily, he’s engrossed in a dinosaur game on his tablet.

“I’m not like you, Noah. I don’t know how to do this no strings attached thing.”

“Did you just call me a slut?”

A quiet laugh escapes me. “If the shoe fits, lace that bitch up.”

I breezed through my twenties without experiencing the typical exploration phase. I was too busy being a mom. Now, I’m in my thirties with no clue how to even approach a relationship, strings or no strings. That’s probably why I panicked and wrote up a contract in the first place.

“I won’t pressure you. Just think about it. What’s the worst that could happen?”

I could catch feelings and fall for another man who’s only going to break my heart in the end, and I’d only have myself to blame. I can’t say that, so I don’t say anything at all.

SIXTEEN

DUCK DUCK, GOOSE (OR DUCK, DUCK, GREY DUCK IF YOU’RE WRONG)