Page 71 of Before We Break

I’ve never seen her look so fragile before—like one small tap could cause her to shatter. The ache in my chest pulls taut, and instead of ignoring it this time, I lean in and take her hand. “Tell me about her.”

EIGHTEEN

TO BE KNOWN

♫ I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys

CLIO

For the first time since the day we met, Noah says the exact right thing at the exact right time.

There’s this thing that happens when someone dies. People want to console you and offer words of sympathy, but nobody truly knows what to say, so it’s always “I’m sorry for your loss,” or “at least she’s in a better place.” They avoid talking about the person on a deeper level because they think it’ll hurt more to bring them up.

Nobody talks about Penny anymore, but I do. Any chance I get.

“She was incredible. Kind and vibrant. Weird in the most whimsical way. God, she had the biggest heart.”

Noah’s thumb draws lazy patterns against my palm. “Sounds like you’re describing yourself.”

“Wow. Did you give me a compliment?”

He’s just saying that. There’s no way he believes it.

“Don’t get used to it, princess.”

I expel a breath as my eyes begin to sting. “She’s the only person who ever really knew me, you know? It was just… nice to be known. If I could be half the person she was…”

Neither of us says anything for a while, but he doesn’t let me go, and I don’t try to pull away. I think I needed this. Maybe he did, too.

“So, the pennies…”

“That was all Aunt P. In the last days when she was fading away, she told me to find the lucky pennies, and that would be her sign that she’s watching over us.”

“There’s an awful lot of pennies in that jar. Seems to me she never really left you.”

And just like that, he steals my breath.

I want him. The thought is so powerful and sudden it shocks me to my very core. I want to be known by him. Intimately.

What would Aunt Penny do?

I can almost hear her now. “Sweet Clio. Why are you wastin’ time thinkin’ bout little ol’ me when you could climb that man like a tree?”

She has a point.

With my hands firmly planted on Noah’s shoulders, I push him back against the cushions and swing one leg over his lap until I’m straddling him, running my hands down his chest and staring into his ocean eyes, which are now black as coal.

“What are you doing?”

“Fuck the contract, Noah. I want you.”

I lean forward and kiss him, but he stops me before I can gain momentum. “Wait.”

“This was your idea.”

His massive palms skate up my thighs, squeezing. “It was, and fuck, I want this, but I need to know you’re doing this for the right reasons. We can’t fake this part, but it won’t come with strings. No grand romantic gestures, no titles, no riding off into the sunset. Everything that happens when we’re alone is purely for sexual gratification.”

“Got it. We’ll just fuck it out of our systems. Just this once. No feelings.”