Page 85 of Before We Break

You’re worthy.

A tear slides down my cheek, and his name comes out on a soft exhale.

His ocean eyes meet mine, stealing whatever I’d been about to say. He grips my hips and settles me on his lap. It’s not a new position for us, but it feels more meaningful this time, and far too dangerous for my heart to contend with.

He cradles my face and his thumb skates along my cheekbone, capturing the stray tear. “This body made Lexi. It held her and kept her safe for nine whole months. Then it carried you through life as you raised her and pushed your needs to the wayside for years. Do you really think I would look at you, at your scars and whatever it is you’ve endured, and think you’re anything less than perfect?”

His words wrap around my heart and squeeze. Noah is a beautiful man, but this softer side is more breathtaking than any version of him I’ve seen.

This Noah could break me.

He hasn’t seen the full extent of my scars, all but one left by a man who tried and failed to break me and a woman who did nothing to stop him. All I have to do is turn around, and my past will be exposed. What will he think of my body then?

“Hey.” Noah’s voice brings me back onto solid ground. “What are you thinking about?”

I expel a breath, uncertain how to answer such a simple question when a million more could follow in its wake. I don’t make a habit of lying, but just this once, I do it for me. For the Clio who needs this moment to go on forever, so he’ll keep looking at me like I’m something to be cherished.

“Nothing. Just kiss me.”

He smirks. “So demanding.”

He’s been smiling more often lately.

I wish he wouldn’t. He’s giving me a false sense of security, and each time I feel another crack forming in the walls I’ve built to keep people out. But isn’t that the whole point of this arrangement? To tear down those walls and start living again?

He takes my mouth in another delicious kiss, this one more heated than the last. My hips begin moving of their own accord, grinding and seeking friction. His groan vibrates through me as his grip tightens against my waist.

He pulls back, gasping. “I need to be inside you.”

I shift off his lap and move to the center of the bed, watching as he strips out of his underwear. His cock juts out between his Adonis belt, long and thick with a small patch of neatly trimmed hair at the base. I half expected a tattoo there, too, but it’s untouched.

His fist wraps around his hard length, giving it a few long, slow strokes. As far as dicks go, this is only the second one I’ve ever seen in person, and it’s intimidating. Maybe I should’ve asked his size before I agreed to do this. As if sensing my thoughts, he says, “Don’t worry. I’ll go slow.”

He stalks toward me and kneels on the edge of the bed, the mattress shifting beneath his weight. “What were you thinking about that night?”

I know exactly what night he’s talking about, but I’m not about to admit it. “What night?”

“Don’t deny it, Clio. We both know what happened. Tell me what I was doing to you in your fantasy.”

My stomach swoops. “You were inside of me.”

“Mm. Do you want to know what I was imagining?”

Oh god. Do I? Will I survive it? There’s only one way to find out. “Yes.”

“I was buried so fucking deep inside your perfect cunt. Your nails scraped my back as I fucked you into the mattress over and over, my balls slamming into your pussy with each thrust. Your heels digging into my ass.” He strokes himself a few more times. “Fuck, baby. The way we fit together…”

The mouth on this man.

“Do it,” I grit out. “Fuck me, Noah.”

His fingers hook into the side of my panties, and he tugs them all the way off, tossing them over the side of the bed. My pulse picks up as he crawls over me, one hand gliding up the outside of my thigh as he lines himself up at my center. “All of my tests are negative, and I haven’t been with anyone since. Are you on birth control?”

“Yes. I’m good.”

“I can wear a condom if you prefer, but I’m not going to lie. I really want to feel you bare.”

“I want that, too.”