Page 97 of Before We Break

“But…”

My hands tremble. “I promise I’ll come back for you. I’ll get us both out of here. You just have to trust me.”

“Please don’t go. I need you.”

“I’m sorry. I have to, or he’ll kill me.” I hadn’t meant to say it, but it’s too late to take it back. It’s the truth, cold and unyielding. If I don’t leave now, I won’t make it out alive.

I pull Callie into my arms and kiss the top of her head as my eyes sting with fresh tears. “Be brave, Copycat.”

After a long pause, I turn to leave. Callie reaches for me, her small hand closing around my sleeve. If I look back, I’ll never be able to leave her, so I don’t. I slide open our bedroom window and climb outside.

Callie’s quiet voice follows me down the fire escape, tearing through me like a dagger straight to my heart. “Cici. Come back.”

I pause on the sidewalk outside our home. “I’m sorry,” I whisper as the tears fall. “I’m so sorry.”

Present day

I wake with a gasp, struggling to pull in a full breath. It felt so real, like I was back in that apartment, a terrified sixteen-year-old girl again. My hands tremble as I throw back the covers, the back of my palm connecting with something solid.

Noah.

I take a moment to study his face. He looks so peaceful in sleep, like all of his worries have melted away. The creases in his brow have softened, his scowl erased. I wish I could say the same. Sometimes I dread sleep, knowing what awaits me when I give in.

I tiptoe to the door, stopping to slip on my fluffy robe and a pair of slippers before padding into the hallway, careful not to make too much noise. Noah doesn’t seem to be roused by much considering I practically punched him in the chest, so I’m less worried about him waking, but Lexi’s already grumpy, and I don’t want to make it worse by interfering with her sleep.

I make it to the front door undetected, looking both ways in the hallway like I’m about to cross a busy intersection. I could go downstairs and sit on the stoop again, or I could take a page out of Noah’s book and head for the fire escape. My feet move before my mind catches up, and I slip through the open window onto the steel platform two stories above the town.

A lone car’s engine splutters down a nearby street, followed by a long stretch of profound stillness broken only by the distant sound of a dog barking and the answering call of its owner beckoning it inside.

An icy chill prickles my nose, and I pull the robe tighter around me to fend off the cool bite of the late autumn breeze.

It was colder when I slipped through the window of my childhood home. Winter had already set in, and the streets were covered in a layer of ice. I walked for what felt like ages until I finally made it to the diner and collapsed in front of Lindsey. She brought me home and introduced me to her parents. They took me in, no questions asked. It was jarring to be around such a compassionate, functional family. A few days later, I was on a train to North Carolina, where I met Aunt Penny.

“A princess in her tower.” The familiar voice carries through the open window at my back before the man it belongs to sits beside me, draping his elbows over his knees. “If I’d known you were gonna steal my hideaway, I might’ve thought twice about bringing you here.”

I nudge him with my shoulder. “Even the kids in my preschool class know how to share.”

“I’ll let it slide this time.” Noah’s tongue peeks out to wet his lips, and I force myself to look away before my thoughts run off with me again. “What are you doing out here?”

“Nightmare.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

I pull at a stray thread on my sleeve. “I can’t run to you every time my past rears its ugly head. You won’t be around forever.”

He looks like he wants to say something but stops himself.

The stars burn bright overhead like tiny rhinestone jewels as I cast my gaze to the sky. “It’s pretty out here,” I whisper more to myself than anything.

“Pretty doesn’t even begin to describe this view.” But he’s not looking at the stars—he’s looking at me.

My chest constricts beneath the weight of his stare, but I can’t let this dangerous feeling take root.

“What are we doing?” I ask on a sigh.

“Sitting on a fire escape. Freezing our asses off.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”