Page 174 of Lessons in Cruelty

What happened to that kid who’d risked his life to save mine? Who’d teased me about not wearing a bra? I was furious, but how was he to know I couldn’t afford one?

He could have let me drown that day when the river swept me away. God knows he should have. I’d told him how many times I wanted to die. But he held on when he could have let go. And then I held on, because I didn’t want to let him go.

I want to let go now.

I’m silently begging him to take the knife digging into my side and bury it between my ribs. To pierce my thumping heart and make it all go away.

The sadness. The pain.

The guilt.

He’ll do it if I ask. I know he will.

Kai’s mind always lived on the edge of the forest, in the dappled shade blurring the line between dark and light. But something has pushed Kai deep into the shadows beneath the trees.

I can see it in his eyes, the way he studies me for the smallest trace of pain. Memorizing any cut or bruise he can press on later, just to see how much it hurts.

But I guess I don’t have enough wounds to satisfy him, because he cuts me with the knife.

It pierces my skin, just above my rib with a sharp sting.

Then comes the savage, pulsing ache.

There’s a fascinated gleam in his eyes when I scream into his hand. He watches me as he drops his head and sucks my nipple into his mouth. I grasp his hair, trying to pull him away, more concerned with the lips on my tit than the knife tip digging into my side.

He growls as I yank at his hair, his neck taut as I wrench him off me, his lips twisted in a snarl. His chest presses against mine as he breathes, then his gaze slides down to my mouth.

Kai wants to kiss me. I can feel it, just like I can feel how hard he is between my legs.

And I want him to. I want to taste the lingering sweetness of the sucker he’d been working on through the meeting.

Is raspberry still his favorite?

There’s a clatter outside the door.

Melissa! Finally, someone⁠—

Kai jerks at the sound. I expect him to let me go, but he throws me a brief considering look, grabs me in a tight hug, and rolls us under the bed.

We come to a stop with him on top again, the knife against my throat, his hand so tight over my mouth that I can taste his skin.

It’s dark under here, the bedskirt blocking out most of the light…and us.

There’s only a sliver of visibility, barely enough to see the matching bedskirt on Melissa’s bed.

“…get a new one,” Melissa says as she walks into our room. “Just snapped right off. Haven?”

I stare at the pair of pink bunny slippers a few feet away, my entire body shivering.

All it will take is one good scream.

My gaze darts back to Kai. He’s staring at me, eyes heavy-lidded, a bemused smile on his mouth, like he can’t believe I’m not kicking up a fuss.

I guess he’s come to the only conclusion there is.

I want this.

I didn’t come to Agony Hollow looking for Kai. After that hateful letter he sent me, I tried to contact him. Sent countless letters, none of which he bothered to reply to. Even tried calling him from the phone inside the grocer when the Jordans got listed in the phonebook.