Page 38 of Lessons in Cruelty

Thank God I had my head turned to the side, or I’m sure he would have broken my nose. Instead, my jaw crashes against the edge of the roof.

Blinding white, and a shock of pain.

I go limp, and start sliding to the ground.

Kai drags me back up, flipping me around.

I still feel dazed, like everything’s moving in slow motion. He’s a blur against the night sky. But I can still feel when he grabs my face.

When he tilts my head back.

When a hand slides to the back of my neck. A long exhale of warm breath on my face, then quick puffs as he speaks with his mouth so, so close.

“Haven?” His voice is a tinny echo that can barely compete with the ringing in my ears. “You get to heaven yet? Or do I need to hit you harder?”

He’d always ask me that if I got injured—especially if he was the one who hurt me. Like he was doing me a favor, sending me to the pearly gates ahead of schedule.

Some days, I wish he had.

“You’re hurting me,” I moan. Confused, frustrated, my face aching.

“You act like you’re someone new, but I know better,” he whispers furiously, his fingers tight on my jaw. “I know what you really want. You want me to break you apart just like I used to. And baby? I’ve had years to think up new ways to make you scream.”

“Stop. Just stop.” It’s a whimper, because that’s all I can manage, but I don’t know how else to make him stop.

But he doesn’t.

His hand just slides from my jaw to my throat, fingers gripping me so tight I can’t breathe.

I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing out brimming tears. Then there’s that warmth on my face again. But it’s not the air from his lungs.

It’s his tongue.

Sliding over my chin, my cheek, the tip of my nose.

“I missed the taste of your tears,” he murmurs. “Tell me, Heavenly, what used to hurt more? When I made you bleed, or when I kissed it better?”

He pulls back, a distant street lamp gleaming in his green eyes as his fingers relax just enough for me to drag in a shuddering breath.

“Drop out, Haven,” he grates.

I push past the fear, the pain, the confusion. “Go fuck yourself, Kai. I’m not going anywhere.”

He tilts his head, shrugs. “It’s your funeral.”

Then my body is sliding to the floor because there’s nothing holding it in place anymore.

Kai is gone, leaving only the memory of his tongue on my skin.

And an echo of his cruel words.

…what used to hurt more?…

Chapter 11

Haven

There’s a haze over the sun that drains all the color from my world.