Page 487 of Lessons in Cruelty

Only.

Always.

As if she agrees, binding herself to the unspoken contract I’ve just dreamed up in my head, Haven moans out a breathless, “Yes, fuck, please, Kai! Harder!”

“Jesus,” I mutter, going even harder.

“Yes! Yes! Fuck me harder! I want you inside my fucking ovaries when I come.”

The thought, her words, the way her pussy fists my cock, it shoves me over the edge so fast it’s like I’m having an out-of-body experience.

My balls tighten as I yank her against me. One hand on her throat, the other on her stomach keeping her in place as I empty my load deep, deep inside her.

Cum coats my dick as I circle my hips, the sensations sending an unholy shudder of ecstasy through my body.

How many times did this fantasy play out in my mind while I had my dick in one hand, my phone abandoned in the other? Because it was always the same—I’d watch porn, feel myself on the edge, and when I was ready to come, my eyes would close…

And whose face would emerge in the darkness behind my lids?

Haven.

Every. Fucking. Time.

I fought it the first few times. Tried inserting a porn star instead. But Haven Lee’s hold on me only got stronger.

It was easier to surrender than to keep fighting.

Now those years—fuck, decades—of fantasies are finally taking physical form. None of the weird shit that happened after the Rain Dance, when we were all tweaking so hard, it’s a surprise any of us even remember anything.

This is like scratching an itch that’s been out of reach for so long, it’s become torture.

I pull out, wishing I could see the cum creaming my dick, but in this cabin’s gloomy light, it’s all just a blurry mess.

I duck down and sink my teeth into her ass so hard that I taste blood. She yells, tries to kick me, laughs, and then bursts into tears.

“Haven?”

Jesus, what’s happening?

Did I bite her too hard?

It’s only when Haven wraps her arms around herself that I realize just how naked she is.

“Hey, hey…shh…” I whisper, dragging her over the back of the sofa with me and cradling her shuddering body in my lap.

Haven feels so tiny and helpless as she shivers against my body, like a little puppy someone left out in the rain.

She’s only cried in front of me a few times before. Once, when we both almost drowned in the creek. On Friday night, when me and Rooke were done fucking her.

And that afternoon in the woods, when I killed that squirrel.

My heart clenches at that last memory. I shove it out of my mind as quickly as I can, and clutch her even tighter, as if I can stop her shivers with sheer force.

“Shh. You’re okay. You’re okay.” I rock her, smoothing hair out of her face and planting a dozen tiny kisses over her cheek, her jaw, the side of her neck, her shoulder.

Her sobbing subsides a little, then she turns her head. I study every inch of her face, trying to ignore the sullen anger in her eyes as she stares right back.

“I’ve never told you how fucking beautiful you are,” I murmur, brushing a strand of hair away from her face.