Page 529 of Lessons in Cruelty

The leather steering wheel squeaks under my white-knuckled grip, pressure bleeding into a single, searing thought.

I need to decide what I want.

The fresh start I need—that I deserve—or Haven Lee.

Logically, it shouldn’t even be a choice.

But Evelyn’s methods eradicated bullshit like logic and reason and empathy a long, long time ago.

All I’m left with is chaos…and depravity.

And a sudden, desperate need to find out where the hell Haven was off to in such a fucking hurry.

After that, I’ll find Kai and have a little chat about…boundaries.

Chapter 68

Kai

I’ve seen Ezra with a swollen eye and busted lip before. Dad got good at not leaving marks where someone could see, but that depended on how drunk he was, and how much Ezra had mouthed off.

But this…?

Ezra’s face is so swollen, he doesn’t look human. Both his lips are split and puffy, his nose is in a strut because I guess I broke it, and there’s barely a sliver of his left eye visible. The other is completely hidden inside a bulge of yellow-brown marshmallow flesh.

I slide my fingers over my mouth as I stare down at the blatant evidence of my own violence.

Jesus. I think I’m gonna puke.

The steady beep of the heart monitor should be comforting, but every electronic chime feels like a knife stabbed into my tight chest.

I can’t believe I did this.

And I know I’d have done worse if I hadn’t been dragged off Ezra.

The nurse at the counter at the end of the hall told me the doctor would come around in a few minutes to check on Ezra. I’d planned to speak to him, find out the extent of Ezra’s injuries…but my fingers and toes are still prickling with panic from when I walked in here.

I thought the woman in teal-colored scrubs had sent me to the wrong room.

Because I didn’t recognize Ezra.

Because that’s how badly I’d fucked up his face.

One of his arms is in plaster too. I probably broke it when he was trying to defend himself.

Against me.

What’s really shocking is that my parents haven’t been in touch yet. Dad kinda makes sense. He’s almost always overseas on business these days.

But what about Mom?

Is she honestly just ignoring this like she ignored all the other times Ezra ended up at Agony Memorial? I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised. She has a permanent crick in her neck from looking the other way.

“Hey, Ezra—” I croak, cutting off when I hear the pathetic sound of my own voice.

I clear my throat and lean in again, even though it only makes Ezra’s injuries more vivid. More incriminating. More nauseating.

“Listen, man, I…I don’t know what to say. Sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it.” I brace myself on the mattress so I can lean in even more. “Can you hear me?”