Page 598 of Lessons in Cruelty

Maybe I should finish her wine. At least that way I’d be enjoying myself.

But even the thought of chemical oblivion does nothing for me.

Binding Parker? Fucking her? Killing her?

Nothing.

Because this isn’t about her anymore.

I suppose it never was.

She was meant to be a substitute.

I’m ruined.

Utterly fucking ruined for anyone but them.

All I want is Haven.

All I want is Kai.

Both. Together.

Because it’s messy and wrong and so fucking perfect my hands are shaking.

I grab Melissa’s hair, and I haul her to her feet, and I drag her down the hall to my study, and I shove her down the set of narrow stairs no one knows about.

Because the alternative is doing nothing.

And I’ve never been able to do nothing.

Agony Hollow should’ve been a fresh start. I kept my head down for three years, getting by on scraps.

Until Haven.

Until Kai.

And now I don’t have a choice but to seek emotional release.

I’ve never had a fucking choice.

Since the first time I drew blood at sixteen, I’ve only ever craved one thing in life.

More.

Chapter 6

Haven

Someone should warn people about the way happiness sneaks up on you mid-Twizzler while your not-quite-boyfriend dozes on the other end of the sofa with a highlighter dangling out of his open mouth.

Piaget’s stages of cognitive development: sensorimotor, preoperational, concrete operational, formal operational.

Right. Cool. Got it.

Except I absolutely do not have it, and midterms are next fucking week.

I glance over at Kai sprawled on the opposite end of the sofa. His one leg is bent, foot propped on the coffee table, the other stretched out so his sock-covered toes press against my thigh. The Corporate Finance textbook balanced on his stomach rises and falls with each breath.