Page 11 of The Do-Over

“—count your carbs or skip dessert because you’re worried about the calories.” He pointed the pen at me. “Got it?”

“I’m gaining weight just thinking about it.”

He tsked. “You’ll be fine. Now, number two: You will not try to be more confident.”

“Huh?”

“There will be no more trying to be more assertive and speaking your mind.”

“So, no more self-help books?”

“Nope.”

“What about the that daily email I get?”

“What’s it called?”

“‘Steps to a More Confident You.’”

He scowled. “No, definitely not. Unsubscribe immediately.”

“Really?” I asked, and it was hard not to hear the hope in my voice. These were resolutions I could actually keep.

“Why not?” He shoulder-bumped me. “If none of it’s working, then maybe it’s time to stop trying so hard.”

A smile spread across my face as I turned to him. “I think I like it. They’re like anti-resolutions. What else you got?”

Mathias tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling. I joined him. After a moment, he jerked and began writing again. “Number three: You will not put more effort into your job.”

“I won’t?”

“No more working late at the last minute or taking on extra work because people ask you to. No more being the person everyone takes advantage of.”

“I can do that.” Maybe. Work was complicated.

“Let’s see. Number four?” He hummed and then his eyes lit up. “You will not date. Take a year and be you. You go from one long-term relationship to another. You never just have fun. Plus, you can use it as an excuse the next time your mom tries to set you up.”

That idea had real merit.

He raised a hand. “And speaking of your mother, number five: You will not try to be a better daughter or sister.”

I snorted. “Are you kidding? I’m terrible as it is.”

Tossing the notebook down, he turned to me. “That’s just it. You put so much pressure on yourself to be what they want you to be, you forget to be you. Stop trying to please everyone else.” His hand cupped my cheek. “You are amazing. Maybe if you try this, you’ll see you don’t need to be anyone but yourself. You’ll believe it, so you’ll be it.”

The earnest way he said those words, the unabashed fierceness burning in his eyes, I almost did believe it. If this was how he built up the pageant girls, I totally understood why he was so sought after.

“Promise me you’ll follow these?” He ripped the paper from the notebook and handed me the sheet.

Bold, concise print filled the page, listing out each of the resolutions Mathias deemed the answer to my life’s woes.

PERCI’S NEW YEAR’S ANTI-RESOLUTIONS

I will not try to lose weight.

I will not try to be more confident.

I will not put more effort into my job.