Page 89 of The Lipstick Flip

Theo’s smile was quicksilver—and, to my surprise, he shot it in my direction, like somehow we were in this together. I was almost as surprised by my own grin back.

“Oh no,” Auggie said. “Don’t you two start with that kind of stuff!”

“What’s the idea, champ?”

“So—” But he paused here to shoot another dark look at Theo. “I know you lost a lot of followers when you, uh, introduced everyone to Noah—”

“When they found out I was a fag,” I said.

“Cart,” Theo said.

Auggie’s cheeks turned red. “So, I guess I was thinking…” He took a breath like he was about to jump off a diving board. “Have you ever thought about, you know, leaning into that?”

It took me about two seconds to say, “Into what?”

“Being gay.”

“I am gay.”

“No, I know. I meant online, you know. Your social media.”

“What? Play with my nips while a bunch of old men jerk off to me?”

“Good God, Cart,” Theo said.

“Maybe not exactly that,” Auggie said, but for some reason, he was grinning now. “Okay, here’s how I’d pitch it to a client: there’s a big audience in the LGBTQ community for home improvement content. On top of that, you’re an attractive guy. You’re traditionally masculine. You’re, like, the definition of trade.”

“Gee, Sparky, you’re giving me a chub.”

“Okay,” Theo said. “This is why I said I didn’t think it was a good idea.”

“Cart, you’d do the same content. You’d be doing the same work. Just, you know, sometimes maybe don’t wear a shirt.”

“Don’t wear a shirt when I’m blowing insulation?”

“Cool it,” Theo said to me. To Auggie, he said, “It’s a good idea, sweetheart, but Cart—”

“Okay,” I said.

Theo stopped.

Auggie’s eyes brightened.

“Okay?” Theo said.

“Why not? Bunch of guys want to rub off in their jockeys watching me, sure, why not?”

“Uh, again,” Auggie said, “that’s not exactly the brand we’re creating.”

“Take the win, sweetheart,” Theo said.

“Okay, I’m going to say this, and then I’m going to run away.” And for some reason, Auggie looked like he was trying hard not to glance at Theo, and he was blushing again. “But I’ve got two words for you: gray sweatpants.”

“Auggie,” Theo said and rubbed his eyes.

“Running away now,” Auggie said with a laugh.

And he did.