Page 180 of The Encore’s Crown

My laugh sounds dead even to me.

“He usually disappears once he has enough money in his pocket. But if he’s home, he’ll act like none of it happened. Like we’re one big happy family and I’m the asshole for barely speaking to him. Until he's drunk enough beer, then he'll show his ass.”

The room goes quiet again. Natalia keeps stroking my hair.

“I don’t talk about this because I don’t want to,” I say. “I don’t like what I come from. I don’t like what kind of man he is.”

“You're nothing like him.”

Something inside my chest gives way. I pull her into me and bury my face against her neck. She holds me without another word, one hand cradling the back of my head while the other moves slowly along my spine. I stay there longer than I mean to. Eventually, I force myself to lift my head.

“So,” I say.

My voice is rough.

“So?”

I take her hand and lace our fingers together.

“Do you want to come with us?”

“For your mother’s birthday?”

I nod.

“To meet her?”

“Rithy'll be there too, being his usual self and possibly my drunk asshole father.”

She watches me carefully.

“You wanted pieces of me. This is one of them. Not a good one or one I’m proud of.” I rub my thumb across her knuckles. “But it’s mine.”

She leans forward and kisses me. Just one slow press of her mouth against mine that makes my chest ache more than anything we did before the phone rang. When she draws back, she keeps her forehead against mine.

“Yes.”

“You don’t have to decide now.”

“I just did.”

“It might be bad.”

“Then I’ll be there.”

“He might say something fucked up.”

“Then I’ll hate him quietly for your mother’s sake.”

A laugh catches in my throat.

“I want to meet her.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.” Her fingers trace the crows on my hand again. "I want to be there with you.”

I pull her against me, tucking her beneath my chin.