Page 231 of The Encore’s Crown

Chapter 79

Five Minutes

Kiri

Three months into the North American tour, Natalia knows the machine almost as well as the rest of us.

She knows Ronan keeps sour candy in the outside pocket of his backpack and Rafe hides protein bars behind the tea because no one else looks there. She knows which crew members need coffee before conversation, which venues have lighting worth arriving early for, and exactly how long she can point a camera at Liv before Liv starts threatening violence.

She slides into tour life without forcing herself into it. Helps when she can, disappears when people need to work, somehow makes every city look better online than it does through the bus window.

Elise has started asking her opinion before approving half the social content. Natalia pretends this is expected. I know better.

Tonight we’re playing Red Rocks, one of my favorite venues in the world. I’ve been buzzing since I opened my eyes. The sky is clear, the weather is perfect, and the morning started with sex so good I’m fairly certain I saw my next life. I light sandalwood incense before I leave the hotel room as a thank you to the universe. Natalia watches from the bed, wrapped in nothing but a sheet, her hair spread around her and one bare leg still exposed like she’s trying to make leaving impossible.

“Do you really believe?” she asks. “In Buddhism. Reincarnation. You never talk about it much, other than the temples your mom took you to and lighting incense sometimes.”

“I don’t know if belief has to be all or nothing,” I say. “I believe enough for it to mean something to me.”

She studies me for a moment.

“I like that answer.”

I lean over the bed and kiss her before I go, which almost turns into another hour of not going anywhere. I return with two green-chile cheeseburgers, fries, and the chocolate shake she claimed she didn’t want but I know she really did. The incense has burned down to ash and the room is unusually quiet.

“Nat?”

I set the food on the small table near the window. She isn’t on the bed. The bathroom door is open, but I can’t see her inside.

Nothing. My chest tightens. I step inside the bathroom and find her on the floor between the bathroom vanity and the wall, curled into herself with her knees pulled tight against her chest and her face buried in her hands. My stomach drops so violently it feels like missing a step in the dark. I’m beside her before I’ve registered moving.

“Kroppy.” I lower myself to the tile and reach for her. “Are you okay? What happened?”

She lifts her head. Tears streak her face and she looks so fucking frightened that every terrible possibility starts clawing through my head at once.

“What is it?”

Her mouth opens, but nothing comes out. She points toward the sink. I turn and see a small white stick resting beside the soap dispenser. For a moment, I don’t understand what I’m looking at. Then I do.

A pregnancy test.

Shit.

I push myself up, grab it, and stare at the little window. Two lines. My heart stops, starts again, then tries to tear through my ribs. Is that yes, baby? No, baby? Obviously yes, baby. That’s why she’s folded into a ball on the bathroom floor. Every panicked thought in my head starts shouting at once, but I force my face to remain still before I turn back to her.

“You have that implant thing, right?” I ask. “You said—”

“Yes, I have it.”

“But this says—”

“I know what it says.”

Her voice cracks.

I kneel beside her again. “Okay. Okay, come here.”

She lets me pull her into my arms. Her whole body is shaking.