Page 159 of Fame & Rhythm

Tears sting my eyes again. “Aston’s moved on. I know he has. But I keep thinking… how could he have ever loved me in the first place?”

Mum exhales slowly, reaching out to squeeze my hand. “He did love you, Annie. And a part of him probably always will. But you can’t keep punishing yourself because he’s moved on. That’s not going to change anything.” I nod, even though it still aches. “Why don’t I call Dr. Ludwick in the morning?” she adds gently. “See if we can get you in sooner. I think it would help.”

“It will,” I say quietly.

Because right now, everything feels tangled. Too big. Too damn messy.

And maybe that’s the alcohol still leaving my system…

Or whatever else I took.

Or maybe it’s just me.

Either way, I need help sorting it out.

***

I stayed in the hospital until I was released the following day.

Mum and Ella didn’t leave my side, and Mum kept her word—Dad still doesn’t know.

The nausea hasn’t fully gone, but it’s not just the drugs or alcohol anymore. It’s everything else. What I did. What could have happened. What nearly did.

I hate that Mum is keeping this from Dad.

I don’t want to come between them.

Not again.

Not having my phone feels strange, like I’m cut off from everything. Mum said we’d go out tomorrow and get a new one, and she’s already canceled my old number. At least he can’t use it.

But he still has it.

My photos. My messages. Everything.

God, what a mess.

We’re all in the living room that night, trying to salvage something normal. A movie plays on the television, the same plan we should have stuck to the night before.

If I’d just stayed home…

None of this would’ve happened.

Mum and Ella laugh softly at something on screen, but I can’t focus. My mind keeps drifting to Aston, to everything I’ve lost, to the hollow feeling sitting heavy in my chest.

It shouldn’t feel like I cheated.

We weren’t together.

But it does.

Kissing other guys never felt like this. Never made me feel… dirty.

This does.

And the fact that I can barely remember it?

That makes it worse.