Page 131 of Fame & Chaos

“Then why ask for one, Caleb?” she yells, staring at me as I cautiously approach and sit beside her.

“Because I forgot,” I admit. “Being with you is so easy that I forgot how scared you are. I know your reasons, and I respect them. I know you hate the idea of us loving each other so much that it might break us if something happened to either one of us. I get that, I really do. But why can’t we take a step back and see how things go? Why can’t we let this progress naturally?” I study her tear-filled eyes. “I can tell by how upset you are that something doesn’t feel right, and I’m guessing that something is us being apart. Am I wrong?”

She huffs shakily, her dull blue eyes brimming with tears. “I don’t want to be like this, Caleb.”

“Like what, baby?” I ask, taking her hands in mine.

She stares down at our joined fingers. “I don’t want to be the one always saying no to us. It breaks me every time. When I’m with you, it feels so right, but the moment you’re gone, I remember all the bad things, and I break a little more. I have to remember my parents, and Maddie, and all the horrible things you’ve done—”

“Wait.” My brows pull together. “Maddie?”

She falls silent and looks away.

“Indi, what does Maddie have to do with anything?”

Her tears spill over as she exhales. “I saw you with her.”

I search my memory, trying to work out what the hell she’s talking about. “I’m not following.”

“The day I left,” she says, her voice breaking. “The day after we slept together. I saw you with Maddie by the back building after our exams. She was unbuckling your belt. The day after we had sex, Caleb. That’s why I can’t trust you. I couldn’t watch, so I ran off and packed my things.”

My head spins as I drag myself back to that day, then the memory finally clicks into place. “No. Wait, Indi… Maddie. Shit.” I tighten my grip on her hands. “No, it didn’t happen like that. She wanted to, but I pushed her away and came home to find you. You were already gone. I swear nothing happened with Maddie. Not a damn thing.”

She searches my face, her tearful eyes locked on mine. “You’re not lying,” she whispers.

I shake my head and wipe the tears from her cheeks. “I’m not lying. Nothing happened, Indi. You’re the only woman I want. I swear on my life.”

She breaks. Full sobs tear out of her as she brings her hands to her face, and I immediately wrap my arms around her, pulling her against my chest.

All this time, she thought I let Maddie touch me the day after we made love.

Christ.

I remember being tempted for a second, but Indi already meant too much to me. I couldn’t do that to her. I wouldn’t.

“God, Indi, is that what this has been about all these years? Is that why you left?”

She nods slowly against my chest.

“I thought I couldn’t trust you. That, mixed with the fear of us losing ourselves in each other and then something terrible happening, was too much for me. I had to leave.”

I take her face in my hands and gently force her to look at me. “Indi, I would never cheat on you. I would never break your heart. If you let me in, I’ll take care of you and treat you the way I should have been treating you for the past six years. I know you don’t want anything fast, and I know you’re scared of us falling so hard we can’t escape it, but I. Love. You.” My thumbs brush away her tears. “I’m not asking you to marry me, although if I thought you’d say yes, I probably would. I’m asking you to give us a chance. We deserve to be happy, and being together makes us happy. Don’t focus on the what-ifs, baby. They won’t happen. If I’m with you, I’m with you forever. I’ll never leave you… I promise.”

She sniffs as more tears trickle down her cheeks, her eyes darting back and forth like she’s fighting with herself.

I know she wants this.

I know she wants me.

But she’s terrified, and I hate her parents for leaving her with this fear. I hate Maddie for becoming part of the reason Indi ran. I hate that all I can do now is wait while she decides whether to trust me. And every passing second feels like she’s going to say no.

Then she brings her hand up to cover mine, where it rests against her cheek, and nuzzles into my palm. “I can’t promise I won’t freak out again,” she whispers.

A smile spreads across my face before I can stop it. “I can live with that.”

“And I can’t promise that even if we go slowly, as you say, your version of slow and mine will be the same.”

“We can take it as slow as you need, baby. Just tell me we can try. That’s all I’m asking for, Indi. The chance we should’ve had six years ago.” I lean closer. “We belong together, my sweet Indi. You know that.”