Page 53 of Cloverleaf Station

He couldn’t stop himself from falling, couldn’t keep from tipping over the edge. He came, and when he saw stars, they were totally new ones, conjured up just for him. His fall was long and hard, and when he woke up after hitting the bottom, Elenus was there, lying next to him and holding him close, staring at him with hooded eyes that promised something he couldn’t name, couldn’t even recognize.

They didn’t speak. It just didn’t seem right. They held onto each other tightly, though, and for the first time in days, Kieron didn’t dream about being alone.

It was a small blessing, but he’d take it.

***

“What’s wroooong?”

Kieron looked up from where he was staring at his tab, doing … well, there were things he ought to be doing, but he wasn’t actually doing any of them. He was just staring, his body on autopilot as his mind ran through dozens of scenarios for the future, each one less appealing than the last. “Nothing’s wrong,” he said after a moment.

“Not truuuuue.” Catie sounded petulant. “You shouldn’t lie. Daaaaddy says so.”

“Your daddy should learn to take his own advice.”

“Keeeeeeron!”

“I’m really fine,” he assured her. “I’m just thinking, that’s all.”

“About whaaat?”

Should he answer her? What should he even say? What could he say? He didn’t want to upset her or get into a conversation that he didn’t have answers for, but … then again, Elenus was still sleeping after a late night yesterday, so this was probably the best chance Kieron would get for a while to speak solely with Catie. “I’m thinking about the future,” he said at last. “About what’s going to happen next.”

“What’s going tooooo haaappen?”

“Well …” He should go with what he knew for sure. “I’m going to take Zakari’s remains back to Trakta.”

“Hooooow?”

That was a good question. The Daring Do, his stalwart ship of two years now, was no more. She’d been crushed in the asteroid field a week ago after sailing around aimlessly for three weeks prior. Had it already been that long since Deysan’s attempted escape? Time is flying, and this dream is flying with it. “I suppose I’ll need to borrow a ship. I’ll probably ask Elenus if I can use the Lizzie.” Otherwise, he’d be paying for a fare from a miner from here to Trakta, which would probably consume most of his savings, given how out-of-the-way they were.

“Lizziiiiiie!!! She will love to help you!”

Kieron smiled. “Oh, she will, huh? How will she love it, exactly? She doesn’t have a mind like you do.”

“She’s getting smaaaarter all the tiiime! Lizzie is going to be soooo smart. Just like meee.”

“Ah.” Kieron should have guessed that the Lizzie would be the next ship Elenus would try out his technology on. There was no way the man would let him take one of his babies all the way to Trakta. They were too special for that. “Well, I’ll come up with something.”

“Yes … Lizziiiie.”

“No, not Lizzie. Your daddy won’t want to let her out of his sight.”

“Dadddeee will, for you,” Catie assured him. “Dadddeeee looooves you.”

Kieron’s voice froze in his throat.

“I love you toooooo,” Catie went on, her hull turning a hundred different shades of pink. Tiny projections of hearts fluttered in and out of existence around her, some of them spinning, others sparkling, yet others wearing tutus and snapping with sharp teeth at each other. Dinosaur ballerina hearts, of course. “It’s okaaaay if youuu take Lizzie, because you’ll briiiing her baaack. And we caaaan talk through herrr! I can sing you my sooongs. Do you want to hear my new sooong?”

“I would love to hear your new song,” Kieron managed, and the hangar began to fill with a sound that was somewhere between syntharmonics and an ancient children’s choir. It swung from chord to chord in an almost random progression—almost. There was enough of a link between the chords in there to make it beautiful to listen to, rather than a haphazard mishmash of sound. It was lovely, and youthful, and fun, and sweet. It was beautiful, just like Catie.

She was going to be upset when she realized Elenus didn’t feel the way she thought he did. She’d become attached to Kieron, despite him knowing it would be better for him to push her away and leave her affections solely focused on her father.

But how could he, after he saved her life? How could he let her think he felt anything but affection for her, when she’d been treated so terribly? Kieron knew what it was to have someone you loved so much, with all the innocent earnestness of a child, not love you back. He knew what it was to be considered a disappointment, to have someone wish that you’d been born someone else. He couldn’t let her think that. It would have been too cruel not to return her infatuation with a soft touch and kind words.

He hadn’t meant to love her, but he did. He loved everything about her, but especially the pieces he could see she’d inherited from her father. Because …

Because …