Page 77 of Protecting Love

She put her fork down, folded her hands in front of her, almost bracing herself with the stare aimed his way. “Really, Fletcher? Did I need to strip for you to understand what I wanted? Talking to you when few others do, or flirting wasn’t enough? Am I that bad at it? Maybe it’s just been so long I forgot, but I don’t think it’s that. I don’t think you’re blind either.”

“No.”

“What I think is that you’re afraid.”

“Don’t push that button,” he said, his voice clipped.

It was too close to the truth.

“I’m going to. Because light and casual doesn’t seem to get my point across. I’m laying it out there about how I feel. And what I’m going through.”

“I did last night and you didn’t believe me,” he countered.

“You’re right. I didn’t. And I told you why and I’ll apologize again.”

“It’s fine.”

“If it was fine, you wouldn’t have just gotten snippy with me over a simple question. If it was fine, you wouldn’t have reared up as if I poked a finger in your ass.” Her voice was rising. “If it was fine, you wouldn’t have made me feel like the wonderful thing we just experienced was cheap because your reflex told you it might be.”

He moved back from his plate and crossed his arms.

Everything she was saying was on target.

He was at least man enough to admit it.

“Fine. You’re right. All of it. Not the part about being afraid. It’s a trigger that I didn’t see something.”

“You saw it. You chose to ignore it. Don’t lie to me. Or don’t lie to yourself.”

His tongue came between his teeth. “Right again. I noticed the change in Lorraine. I noticed Ian was mentioning it. I’d bring it up. I’d ask what was wrong.”

“And her answer?”

“Was always the same. My job. I’m never home. She can’t wait until I retire. That she’s just out with friends or coworkers because she was lonely.”

“She had a kid at home.”

“No shit,” he said. “You think that doesn’t eat at me also? You think I haven’t worked my ass off trying to get my son to not hate me for his life changing so much? Or so often. Every time we moved, he had to start over with friends. He’s already a little awkward and struggles with it.”

Which he hated to say just now.

Especially since Ian seemed to come into his own more.

And the last thing he wanted to do was jeopardize any of that.

So him having a relationship, having someone else in his life taking time away—would Ian resent that?

“I’m sorry. We are getting off track.”

“No, we aren’t. It’s all part of it.”

“Then let me rein it in,” she said. “What I said was about me being vulnerable. And admitting this is doing the same. I’m not afraid to do it with you when I’ve been terrified of doing it with others for years.”

Which said more than words ever could.

“I don’t want you to be.”

“You’re making it hard.” She picked her fork up and stabbed her quiche, then shoved it in her mouth and chewed.