Page 44 of The Pakhan’s Heir

And it’s not even just the images. It’s everything else. The smell of his blood and the harsh burn of gunpowder in the air. The rocking of the car as Rikki sped through the streets. The thick and heavy rain smell blowing into the cracked and shattered car windows.

I can’t get it off me. It just won’t fucking come off.

I endured it while we rode to Marius’s and even as I sat in his living room while he patched Rikki up. I endured in the car after he’d had his sons take Gedeon and my father’s bodies away and we had to drive back still soaked in their blood. In the kitchen, giving Rikki instructions for Liz and for my sister…

It was all still happening in my mind and it hasn’t stopped. I thought once I was in the shower, at least I could wash some of it away.

I’ve been leaning against the wall, letting the warm water run down the back of my neck, watching the brownish-red colors of blood and dirt swirl down the drain. Nothing else follows it down. Not the pain. Not the memory. Not the reality that he’s gone…

The immediate sense that I’m not alone hits me and I look up. Through the hazy glass of the shower, a figure stands at the door. All I can make out, other than her shape, is the red of her hair. I wipe the water and fog away and there Nona stands, wearing her nightgown, a simple wispy pink thing that falls well past her knees. Her hair is down and cascading past her shoulders, the ends curling up in giant ringlets. She’s looking at me, the deepest green reflecting back at me from her eyes. It tugs at the edges of my cracked heart.

I look away. “Go away.” She doesn’t move. She just stands there staring. “I said leave, Nona.”

“No,” she says softly. “I’m not leaving you alone. Not tonight.”

I sigh. I am not anywhere near being in the mood for these games. “Leave or I will throw you out.”

I see her move out of the corner of my eye, so I look up. She’s walked all the way in. “Then you’ll have to do that because I’m not leaving you alone, Alex.”

My anger flares. “Don’t test me, Nona.”

She tilts her head slightly, then she pushes the sleeves of her gown down her shoulders, one after the other, until she’s pulled her arms out completely. It falls from her body, sliding to the floor effortlessly. My view drops down to her perfect, pert breasts and to her rosy pink nipples.

“What are you doing?” I say. I try to sound offended, but it just isn’t coming out that way. It’s been a couple of days since I played with her in the game room and the taste of her hasn’t left my mind. I watch her pull her panties down and kick them across the room.

“I can’t fix it,” she says. “I can’t change anything that’s happened, but I can comfort you.”

I’m frozen as she walks to the shower and pulls the glass door to the side. She steps into the shower and shuts it behind her. And now she’s in here with me. A moment later, I feel her hands on my back. Warm and soft as they press into the muscle, sliding over my wet skin, massaging me.

It’s like a switch goes off in my mind as her hands move with the water, slowly taking away my armor, piece by piece. Her soft lips press against my skin as she leans into me, her hands moving around to my abdomen.

And then she embraces me. Her breasts press against my back as her arms wrap around my torso. I’m warm under the water and in her arms and…

It hurts so fucking much. Enough to break me down. Enough to shatter me into pieces. I don’t have the luxury of breaking.

I reach down and take one of her hands, kissing it. “Make it stop,” I whisper. The sound is almost too low under the sound of the shower, so I’m not sure she hears me.

So I take her hands and push them away, turning around to her. She’s soaked from head to toe, her hair as dark as blood as it sticks to her face and hangs over her breasts. Her skin is smooth as silk as the water drips down every inch of her.

I can’t explain it, but her eyes are pleading with me. Let me comfort you.

“On your knees,” I tell her. She doesn’t give me any lip or ask any questions. She just gets on her knees in front of me, awaiting my instructions.

I’m only standing at half mast. Even looking at her beauty, the pain is still so much. “I can’t forget it,” I tell her. “It won’t leave my mind. It won’t stop. I need you to help me. Just give me something else to put in my mind for a few hours.”

She nods and says, “I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

I touch her face, caressing her cheek, and she leans into my hand. “Suck me off, Nona.”

She wraps her hands around my cock and starts a steady, circular movement over my shaft as she leans in and starts sucking the head, her bubble gum pink tongue moving around and around it before taking it in her mouth.

The warmth of her mouth is a slight shock to my system. I watch as she alternates her hands with her mouth, taking more and more of me in. Watching her head move in rhythm, the feel of my rapidly hardened cock sliding down her throat as she takes me deeper and deeper…

I have to brace myself, leaning with my arm against the tile wall as I move my hips to match her. “That’s good,” I moan. “That’s very good. Just like that.”

I place my hand on top of her head, moving it over her wet hair until I’m cradling it, urging it forward. The rough streak within me wakes up and I start thrusting to get deeper down her throat. She doesn’t resist me. I feel her throat open a little more with every deep thrust.

“Such a good fucking girl,” I moan. The deeper I go, the more I expect her to recoil or push me away. She takes it, though. No gag reflex. No choking. She’s working my dick like a fucking pro and it’s getting me to the finish line.