Page 18 of The Hunter

“I thought being a man meant being strong and never showing any emotion but anger. That real men don’t cry. That I was always right because I could hit harder and talk louder. And my friends and coworkers… Most of them were the same. We reinforced that behavior in each other. Everything around me, everything I listened to, encouraged it.

“But I wasn’t happy. If I stayed on Earth, I would’ve spent my life in the same routine, wondering why my relationships never worked out, probably drinking more and more as time went on. Joining the Initiative changed my life. Crash landing here, meeting all of you and the vrix, it set me straight. Taught me that my whole damn perspective was wrong.”

He waved vaguely toward the other human dwellings below them. “Like, look at Diego. Dude is scary calm when shit goes down, but he gives everything he’s got to help everyone out, and he’s so gentle and caring. You can talk to the guy about anything, and he’ll never make you feel judged. And Will’s not afraid to admit when he doesn’t know something or when he’s scared, and he never lets those things hold him back. He just learns what he needs to learn, faces his fears, and pushes on. When they fuck up, they don’t get defensive. They take accountability and do all they can to make it right.

“I love my dad. Always will. But sometimes, I wish I had a father like one of them. Someone who could’ve shown me a better way, you know? And that’s not even touching on Ketahn, Rekosh, Urkot, and Telok, or you, Ivy, Callie, and Ahmya. I’ve learned so much from all of you about what real strength is. About the person I want to be.”

Leg bouncing and eyebrows angling down, he looked at Lacey. His voice was thick when he said, “I know this is real sappy, but… Thank you. Truly. For putting up with my shit and for being my friend.”

Lacey smiled, her eyes stinging with the threat of tears. “We’re family, Cole. We’re all bound to bicker at some point, but we’re all here for each other. And even if you’re an asshole sometimes, I know you’ve always got my back.”

“Yeah, I do,” he said with a chuckle.

She gave him a light punch on his arm. “Now stop or you’re gonna make me cry.”

Cole grinned, but it slowly faded as he turned his gaze past the deck railing. “I haven’t told anyone else this, but when I finished this deck and sat here for the first time, looking out at all this…” His eyes took on a wistful, distant gleam. “I cried. Tried to hold it back, but once that first tear came out, they just wouldn’t stop. Because it’s beautiful here, and it feels like home, and…and because of everything we went through to get here. It all just kind of hit me, you know? How hard it all was, and how fucking lucky I am to be here with all of you.”

Lacey’s own tears dripped down her cheeks, and she quickly wiped them away. She hadn’t expected her day of relaxing in the sun to turn so emotional, or for Cole to be the one to make her cry, but here they were. And she understood all too well how he felt. “We’re all very lucky.”

Quietly sniffling, she blinked, hoping the breeze would dry her eyes.

Cole glanced at her and gave her a contrite smile. “Sorry.”

Lacey waved him off. “It’s fine.” Her gaze shifted, wandering over Kaldarak’s platforms and the vrix living their lives upon them. “Do you think things actually would’ve been different if we had made it to Xolea?”

“From here? Definitely. From Earth?” He laughed. “Same shit, different planet.”

“You’re probably right.” Lacey held the bowl of sweetseeds out to Cole again. “More?”

He took another handful. “Thanks. Actually, that reminds me. I’ll be heading out with a hunting and foraging party in a few days. We’re going farther out than usual to look for Hunter’s eyes flowers, since Garahk says our stores are low. Guess it’s some kind of medicine.”

“Dude, it works freaking wonders.”

Cole chuckled. “I take it you had some?”

“Yeeeeesssss. It made my cramps bearable.”

“That’s good. Not like we can run down to the store and pick up a bottle of aspirin.” Cole tipped his head back and dumped the handful of seeds into his mouth. As he chewed, he asked, “You wanna tag along to find more magic painkiller flowers?”

“Sure. It’d be nice to get out there and explore again.”

Brushing his hand off on his shorts, he rose from the chair. He stepped into the sunshine, stopped at the railing, and bent down to brace his hands upon it. “We’ll be setting out a little after dawn in three days. You know where to—” He tilted his head. “What the hell is up with him?”

Lacey’s brow knitted. “Huh? What’s up with who?”

Cole pointed down. “Telok.”

Her breath caught. She hadn’t seen Telok since he’d left her tied up in her den, but she’d known he would come looking for her soon. And strangely, her now racing heart wasn’t pounding in fear or anger, but anticipation.

Setting the bowl down on the chaise, Lacey swung her legs off and stood, joining Cole at the railing. Three levels below, Telok had just reached the bridge leading to the city’s little human section. His lower arms were curled around a bundle of spears that remained eerily steady despite the speed and force of his stride, which made the bridge bounce and sway beneath him.

He was halfway across when he lifted his head, all eight of his furious eyes locking on to Lacey. His mandibles gnashed, his arms tightened around the weapons, and his upper hands clenched. His growl was loud enough to carry straight to her.

Oh, he’s spitting mad.

Lacey snickered.

“Um, what the fuck did you do?” Cole asked.