Page 75 of Fated to the Wicked King

“Of me.”

I jolted in my stance, mind completely blown.

“That’s why I…” He shifted on his feet.

“Wait a minute. Was this…” I blinked hard, recognition dawning on me. I was torn between hope and despair. It was as though my heart was exploding into a thousand pieces and kept getting remade over and over again. “This was why you left. You were trying to make me hate you. All this time.” I put a hand to my forehead. “It was the only way to detach the mystical heart, without risking my life.”

He hung his head. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t even do that properly. Every day for eight moons has been hell, not being able to see your face, but I knew it had to be done. When you came back to the castle, it was even worse. I-I couldn’t stay away from you. I couldn’t stop—” He groaned. “But it’s over now. I can’t do this anymore. Whenever I’m around you, I’m…weak. And a man in my position cannot be weak.”

My chest squeezed at the agony on his face. I took a step closer to peer at him. “You are not weak.”

He shook his head. “Those wretched maelstroms have me terrified most of all. I know you can’t stay on Wünder. I know this isn’t your world. What if we find the doorway that leads you home? Well, I…I—” He wrung his hands out, his jaw clenching. “I forbid it.”

I stifled a chuckle, my entire being overcome with a strange sort of relief, of release. “You forbid it?” Reaching up, I touched his cheek—tentatively at first, the truth weighing heavily on me, before taking his face in my hand more firmly. “I must go home. You already know that.”

He melted into my touch for the briefest of moments before determination shimmered in his blue eyes once again. “You’re still mine.”

Truer words couldn’t have been spoken. My chest filled with a longing ache. I’d been trying so hard to fight it, but there was no denying the truth. Even through all the months of hating him with the burning passion of a million suns, I never ever once stopped being his.

Lifting his hand, he tucked my hair behind my ear. A small smile broke on his face as his eyes caught on something, before a shadow flitted past his eyes.

“There’s something else you need to know.” The gravity in his tone shifted.

I almost caught my breath in my throat. More lies? My heart ached in full dread. How much more deception was I meant to endure? And despite that, I was willing to hear him out. Was I willing to forgive him anything? What did that make me?

His fingers brushed my emerald hairpin. “I wasn’t certain you would keep wearing this. It suits you well.”

And when those deep blue eyes met mine again, a peculiar sense of reassurance, of certainty washed over me.

No, not lies.

Truth…finally.

“When I discovered all these things, and I knew I had to leave you, I…” He dropped his gaze. “Since our hearts were linked, I knew I couldn’t go on experiencing your feelings every day and rule the kingdom at the same time. I knew I couldn’t bear it—feeling your helplessness, your despair, your heartbreak. I didn’t want to feel the moment when you…finally let me go.” His throat bobbed. “I didn’t want you to sense my hopelessness either, so… I commissioned a blacksmith to craft these trinkets, a matching pair.” He held up his hand where a gleaming jade ring was around his forefinger.

“And?”

“They are enchanted as a type of magical impediment. Mine hides my feelings from you. Yours from me.”

My eyebrows furrowed to process this information. “What, like emotional shields? Wait—” My jaw dropped. “Are you saying the link between our swapped hearts still works?”

“Yes.”

The gears in my mind working to sort it all out, I averted my gaze. I vaguely recalled a momentary flash of pain many months ago. It must have been caused by the abrupt cutoff of the flow of magic between us, except there was nowhere else for all that magic to go. “This must be why I can feel everyone else. It’s a side effect.”

Ruefully, he pursed his lips. “The mystical heart you wear is quite powerful. It was a difficult, rare spell. I struggled—” He shook his head again to cover his admission of weakness. “It seems I wasn’t able to suppress all of its magic.”

“I can feel everyone else’s feelings, except for yours.” I tilted my head in further thought. A fresh wave of realization came over me as I put some more pieces together. Stunned, I covered my mouth with my hand. “Except at night, when I take it off…”

Those deep blue eyes gleamed again. “Yes.”

“Those dreams…” I caught my breath, my heart starting to pound all over again.

His agreement was a low rumble. “Yes.”

“I dreamt of you, and you dreamt of me. Of us.” I wasn’t certain whether I should be appalled or relieved. Those dreams were what held me together these past months. They had been the only thing that had kept me going. Even in my subconscious, the reassurance of his presence, even the illusion of his affection, was an unexpected comfort.

The crease on his forehead deepened, his lips curling. “So many days I wished to remain asleep, if only I could be with you in my dreams.”