Page 40 of Something Handsome This Way Comes

He followed the sound, coming from the front door of the apothecary. It must have been a true emergency for someone to bang on his door while the store was closed. Heart pounding, Milo sped up, reaching the front door where the bangs were loud enough to shake the glass, and a voice clearly yelled from the other side.

“Pembrooke!”

BANG

BANG

BANG

“Pembroke, wake up! If you don’t open up, I’m breaking through the window— oh!”

Rowen pulled back as Milo yanked the door open.

Speak of the sugarcoated devil, and he shall appear.

Milo’s eyes immediately fell into a glare, his lip snarling at the sight of the baker.

“You better have a damn good explanation⁠—”

“Milo!” Rowen interrupted. He looked like he’d sprinted over here from bed. He was still in his pajamas. A rather dapper matching set with pinstripes. Milo half expected a matching cap. “Thank goodness I caught you. Sadie just told me—well. I think you grabbed the wrong box. I’m gonna need those back⁠—”

“So I don’t find out they’re laced with succubus venom!?” Milo hissed out through a snarl.

Rowen froze. And for the first time, the baker seemed to take Milo in. The shredded sweater. And the assorted collection of bite marks, scratches, and bruises that dotted just about every inch of exposed skin.

“Oh fuck.” Rowen breathed.

“Yeah. Oh fuck,” Milo hissed back at him. Then stepped outside into the cold, closing the door so he didn’t wake up anyone in the house. “What the fuck were you thinking!?” Milo yell-whispered into the frigid night.

“I— Well, it wasn’t completely me. Sadie had this idea. I told her it was too dangerous. But she has this succubus friend, and I guess she sent over a vial of venom and⁠—”

“You decided to bake it into muffins?!? Are you crazy!? Do you know how illegal that is? I could report you right now.”

Rowen raised his hands, color draining from his handsome face. “Those weren’t supposed to leave the kitchen. I swear. The second Sadie told me what happened, I ran over.”

“A little late, don’t you think?” Milo hissed.

“I take it Grievance was the one who took a bite?”

“A bite?” Milo laughed. “He ate an entire muffin, Rowen!”

“Aw hells.” Rowen winced.

“Yeah. And succubus venom will fuck up a regular person—do you have any idea what it does to a Chimera!?”

Rowen opened his mouth to say something, but Milo continued, letting loose a verbal tirade that Rowen so deserved.

“Do you know what I’ve endured tonight!? I’ve had to take three doses of revitalization potion! Three! Just to keep from passing out—and I’m pretty sure I did that anyway because look!” Milo hiked up his sweater, showing off a symmetrical row of little red dots. “I don’t remember getting fucked by anything with tentacles, Rowen! But evidence would prove otherwise!”

Rowen’s eyes went wide at the marks.

“Because of your little experiment, I’ve been fucked by a wolf, a snake, and who the fuck knows what else. I’m not going to be able to walk straight for a week!”

At this, Rowen couldn’t hold back the obvious mirth building in his chest. He let out a burst of laughter, trying to smother it with a hand.

“I’m sorry.” He said, at Milo’s seething glare. “I’m sorry. It’s not funny but… I’ve never heard you string that many words together— and for it to be those words.”

Some of the tension drained from Milo’s body, and he relaxed. Then he thought about everything he’d just word-vomited on his porch at three in the morning. His eyes met Rowen’s, and they both dissolved into a fit of helpless giggles like a pair of lunatics.