Page 27 of Lay It Bare

“It’s screwed into the bone. It could kill me before I disarmed it.”

“But if you could?”

“If I could . . .” Lisa let the words hang in the air above them.

“What would you do?” Rei whispered.

“Kidnap you and go somewhere they’ll never find us.” Lisa sighed. “I never let myself think like this.” He fell back onto his back, looking up at the ceiling and laughed, low and broken. For a long time he said nothing. Then he raised his fingers, playing them through streaks of light from the sun dying towards the horizon outside. “I’m tired, Rei. Perhaps I’m a coward.”

“Why?”

“Because part of me would rather have four more weeks with you like this and nothing more, than face the rest of a natural life without you or Alexi. It’s fucked. I know it’s fucked. But sometimes Alexi is the only relief in this hell. Both the giver and the taker of pain. Even though I run, I always crawl back to him like a dog.”

Sevastyan

The red eye was almost easy. Every minute meant he was closer to Rei and further away from his work in California. At O’Hare he collected his checked luggage and lingered by the doors to the curb, calling a ride. It was early, but he texted Ellisandre.

They texted back.

He checked with the driver and changed his drop-off point. With three minutes to spare, he arrived first. The table from their last visit was open again. The place was even quieter than last time, the sign for being open having just been flipped around as he walked up. Sevastyan gave the server a nod of his head.

The short, Central American looking young man waved at him. “Give us a minute. Register’s not open yet. What can I start for you?”

“Just tea, please. No caffeine.”

“Not been to bed yet?” The man smiled and shook his head.

“Red eye.” Sevastyan smiled back.

“Apple spice coming right up. We got breakfast sandwiches.”

“I’ll take one. Whatever you recommend.” Sevastyan dropped into the seat where he could see the door.

Ellisandre sailed in wearing a massive coat over a tracksuit, no make-up. They made eye contact and Sevastyan let some tension flow out of his body. They might not like what he was about to do, but just seeing them pulled some of the poison of the last few days out of him. Ellisandre paused by the counter, ordered coffee, and approached, taking the seat Sevastyan had used a few days before. “You’re back.”

“Back.” Sevastyan smiled.

“And tired.” Ellisandre looked him over.

“Red eye. Didn’t sleep at all. I’ll get rest after this.” He pushed the small package he’d picked up at the bar the night before across the table. “A solution.”

Ellisandre picked it up. “To?”

“Me.”

Ellisandre opened the small package and looked inside, then closed it. “Explain.”

Sevastyan nodded towards the server who was approaching with two hot drinks, one black drip coffee and one tea.

“Sandwich is coming in a minute. Sugar and cream are right there.” The server nodded towards the little cluster of condiments already on the table.

Ellisandre flashed the man a bit of a smile and took the coffee. Sevastyan nodded, wrapping his hands around the tea. The apple spice smelled good, like one of the places he’d once frequented in Berlin.

More customers entered. The server called out a good morning to them in Spanish as he headed back towards the front. Sevastyan fussed with the little sealed containers of cream without meaning to use them, leaning forward on the table.

“I trust the chemist. It takes twelve hours to leave the system. I’ll be vulnerable until it’s gone, liable to obey suggestions and orders without the ability to reconsider. Have you ever heard of Devil’s Breath?”

Ellisandre’s eyes widened by a fraction. They covered the bag with their hand. “Have you considered the side effects?”