Page 5 of Lay It Bare

Rei snorted a half laugh. Lisa was really angry with Alexi. He’d ask Sevastyan to message Alexi, then. Lisa had a long leash, but it was a leash. Lisa was chipped. Like a dog but worse.

Lisa’s breath evened out. Rei peered over Lisa’s hair at the abandoned mug on the coffee table. So much for getting it into him.

It showed just how done Lisa was that he’d fallen asleep so fast.

Rei closed his eyes. When Sevastyan came back, he was going to be punished severely. He should sleep while he could. Resting against Lisa made it easier. The other slave knew all the ways to make him feel contained and held. At least his work was done.

Ellisandre

Ellisandre stayed in vigil, hand against Sevastyan’s ribs into the small hours of the morning. When he woke, it was his heartbeat and his breath that told them first. He held still, using his senses for several long moments. Ellisandre withdrew their hand, signaling that they knew he had returned. He’d always been like this, waking and then listening, smelling, feeling his environment, trying not to give away that he was aware of where he was.

He rolled over slowly, blinking away sleep. “You stayed.”

“I stayed.” Ellisandre offered their hand back, palm warm from where it had been resting against his skin.

He took it in both of his. “What time is it?”

“Three a.m. You needed sleep.”

He touched the back of his hand where the IV had been. “Drugs?”

“Saline. Hydration. You needed it.”

Sevastyan sagged against the couch. “Does this . . . are we . . . is there . . . what am I now, to you?”

“Mine.” Ellisandre squeezed his hand in theirs. “You are mine. And we’ll find a way, together.”

“Even if I can’t say it?”

Ellisandre let all the certainty of the long wait flood their voice. “Even if you can’t.”

Sevastyan sagged into the couch, gripping their hand. The pressure of his need was a balm against Ellisandre’s chest.

He blinked and looked around the room as if lost and trying to collect something. “I feel worse, and better.”

“You had a lot to grieve. And no place to do it.” Ellisandre squeezed Sevastyan’s hand. “I’ve cleared my responsibilities until morning. You can stay here as long as you need. My preference is that you don’t go, not for a few days.”

“If I could . . .” He looked up, begging with his eyes.

They squeezed his hand in forgiveness. “I know. You said. Many times.”

“I can come back.”

“You will.”

Sevastyan looked at them then, eyes aching. His walls, at least, had come down, even if his secrets remained locked. “I want to stay. I wish I could stay.”

“Someday, you will.”

“Someday, you might hate me as much as I hate myself.”

“That’s not possible.”

“Why?”

“There is not enough free space in my mind for the number of thoughts that would take. I could never hate you with the intensity you hate yourself.”

Sevastyan closed his eyes. “That’s not how hate works.”