Page 22 of Forge the Blade

“Five years,” Rei said, voice barely loud enough to hear.

“He and I met eleven years ago,” Ellisandre said. “It’s been a long time. We . . . I disappeared.”

“He never talked about you,” Rei whispered. “I knew there was someone, but . . .” Rei’s voice trailed off.

“And I never talked about him. It was too dangerous to acknowledge each other.” Ellisandre spread their hands.

“And now?” Lisa said.

Ellisandre rested their eyes on Lisa’s face. They could list off the lines they read in his eyes: distrust, wariness, longing, disappointment, potential hope. And something else.

“Now his war is mine.” Ellisandre lifted their chin.

Rei

Rei heard Ellisandre's words from the end of a long tunnel. His body was leaning against Lisa’s but the part of him that was aware was running from his body, leaving his limbs cold. His heart pounded in his chest. The future was rushing towards him, bright skies and sunshine. Sevastyan walked hand in hand with this beautiful person down the sidewalk. Sevastyan turned and smiled and Ellisandre smiled back. And behind them, in the shadows, Rei himself grew smaller and smaller, trapped in the dark.

He needed to run. Out the door, onto the street. But he couldn’t. The Merchari would find him. Sevastyan’s schemes would be uncovered or he’d lose status for misplacing a high-value slave. All the plans to end the Merchari would collapse. Sevastyan still needed a slave.

There was no leaving until Jun was safe. If Rei left now, then the last eleven years of his life would have been for nothing.

He just had to find that place inside, the one he hadn’t needed since being owned by Sevastyan. The one where he didn’t exist but his body continued to move day after day. He just had to find it, slide inside, and wait. A few months, a year, and the Merchari would be on their knees.

Then he could fade.

Sevastyan belonged to Ellisandre.

If only the world would stop. If only Rei could faint and disappear. Fall asleep and wake numb where none of this hurt.

Or perhaps he could have succumbed in the days previous, everything ending before he had witnessed a world where Sevastyan wasn’t his.

The world was very cold, but that didn’t matter. He just had to stay here, stay still long enough to pull the pieces together to find a way to exist, to follow Sevastyan into whatever rooms they needed to pierce until this was over. Until Sevastyan was free and Jun was safe.

Until he could rest.

Something slapped his face. There were voices. There were hands in his hair.

“Rei, answer me.”

That was his master. He had to answer. But he wasn’t ready. His walls weren’t rebuilt.

“Rei!”

“Do you think he’s been having a brain bleed this whole time?”

“He needs a hospital.”

“What hospital could we possibly take him to?” His master sounded wrecked, like he was crying.

Rei’s chest hurt from the sound of Sevastyan’s voice. He never made his master cry. The rest of the world was wrong. He had to make it right between them. That was how they survived. Wherever they were, whenever they were alone, they made the world right.

His eyes wouldn’t open, but he could lift his hand. Sevastyan was crouched over him. The larger man’s heat was a beacon. He pressed his palm against Sevastyan’s cheek. It was rough with scruff. His master needed to shave.

The shouting drifted away. His master covered his hand with his own. That was how it was supposed to be. Rei smiled to himself. He could do this. He could make Sevastyan quiet. Peaceful and quiet.

“Rei.”

Rei blinked, opening his eyes. They were on the floor beside the bed, in the narrow space between the mattress and the closet. Sevastyan was crouched over him, knees on either side of Rei’s hips. Lisa was in the doorway of the closet. Ellisandre leaned in from above his head.