Page 20 of Hilarina and the Ogre

“My mother was working.”

“And your dad?”

“I don’t have one of those.”

That might have been sad if Trenton had said it with anything less than his usual flatness.

“No babysitter?”

“I don’t think we could afford one.”

Hilary could relate to that. “Who fed you while your mom was at work?”

“It’s not hard to make a sandwich.”

“This is coming from the third grader in Velcro shoes, right?”

Trenton flashed a little of that grin again. He seemed so young with that smile. Too young to be as big as he was. “Some things you can eat right out of the box.”

True. Like Hilary’s own personal favorite, Captain Crunch. No milk and no bowl, just eating it clean until the roof of his mouth was scraped raw. And he knew Trenton was right. There was plenty of food you could eat without any prep. Fruits and vegetables. Bread. Cheese. Milk and juice. Honestly, he could see himself never cooking again. “I bet your options expanded explosively once you mastered the microwave.”

“Like cheese puffers.”

“Cheese what?”

Apparently, that was when you took a slice of American cheese and microwaved it for twenty-eight to forty-two seconds depending on the power of the microwave.

“Is that…” Hilary wasn’t sure which word to use next, “good?”

“Like heaven to a five-year-old.”

“And now?”

“I’ll bring you one tomorrow.”

Questions and answers followed in that vein until the bell rang, causing Trenton to make a strange expression.

“What?” Hilary asked.

“Nothing,” Trenton answered. “I never went through lunch without reading before.”

That had Hilary feeling guilty until he realized it hadn’t been an accusation.

They went home right after school. Well, to his home (though the parents already seemed to think of it as Trenton’s as well). And this time the math was different from what it had been before, and undoubtedly worse.

“Can’t I just keep relying on the rules?” he whined. “I like being stupid.”

“You need to understand things,” said Trenton the tyrant. “You shouldn’t use rules until you understand them properly.”

“But what difference does it make whether I understand if I’m still going to be doing the same thing in the end?”

All the difference in the world, apparently, and Trenton wouldn’t move on until understanding was nailed in like his own name. It wasn’t good enough just to copy out the derivations either. That could be done with memorization, as was revealed when Trenton tripped him up with several probing questions.

After about an hour of such torture, Hilary pitched a fit. “We’re never going to be tested on any of this!”

Trenton was relentless, his expression like the hammer of God. “Do you only learn things because you’ll be tested on them?”

“Yes!”