Page 22 of Hilarina and the Ogre

“We have a lawn?” Annette shot back.

Trenton thought it was sweet how much the pair loved each other. He knew, because the boy used those exact words straight to Annette’s face without a trace of embarrassment, causing Annette to take hold of his cheek in a hell of a pinch and croon, “Not as much as we love you, sweetheart.”

It had Hilary feeling a little out of sorts as Trenton wished him goodnight.

“You don’t need to be so good, you know,” he told the boy. “No one will kick you out if you’re not perfect.”

“But I’m not perfect,” Trenton said. “I’m rude and difficult to deal with.”

“Since when?”

“Since always.”

Chapter Seven

Gay Ass Letters

The bullying began the next day. When they came back from lunch, the word FAG was spray painted across both their backpacks. Hilary managed to keep from reacting, since the perpetrators were sure to be watching, but he couldn’t help the way his chest contracted, his lungs unable to take a proper breath. It was happening again. Hilarina Ballerina.

He put a smile on his face, pictured his father, and tried to copy that delighted smile he’d seen so many times. “Look, Trent. We match.”

Trenton had frozen when he’d seen Hilary’s desk, though it took hearing those words to look toward the back of the classroom, noticing his own bag for the first time. It seemed to help. The boy touched the lettering done over in pink.

Annette was apoplectic when she saw them. “I’m going down there.”

Hilary had thought about trying to hide it from her. It was what he’d done the last time. But that hadn’t ended well, and anyway, hiding it would require buying a new bag—something he didn’t have the money for, especially if it was only going to be ruined again. And anyway, he was done with hiding. “Why? It’s kind of cute. Trent thinks so too.”

“They do match,” Trenton said. The idiot wasn’t even faking it. He’d warmed continually to the idea throughout the day “Though the bags themselves aren’t the same. Where did you buy yours, Hil? Do you think the bullies would do it for me again if I gave them a new one?”

Hilary laughed, and it was only a little forced. It did feel better knowing he wasn’t the only target. But he felt guilty about that too.

“If you keep away from me at school, they may leave you out of it,” he offered, though it made the panic rise in him to say so.

Trenton wouldn’t hear of it. Seemed even to be insulted by the thought. “Aren’t we friends?” And then added, looking almost nervous, “Do you not want to be friends?”

Hilary hadn’t known relief had a taste—a mixture of copper and saliva. He swallowed it down and felt his chest open up a little. “We’re friends.” Trenton didn’t know it, but it was his very first time saying the words. Trenton’s too, likely. They’d both been in the pariah club for too long.

And with that, Trenton took abrupt hold of his arms, stiff as anything, unsure of himself, but clearly thinking he ought to be doing something for the occasion. “I wasn’t sure,” the boy said. “It felt like how friendship is in books, but I’m not good at knowing things in real life.”

Hilary felt a little shaky with that, like he was going to cry. And maybe Trenton felt it too, because he ducked his head, still holding onto Hilary’s arms, and said with uncharacteristic hesitation, “Can I stay over tonight?”

“Yeah.” Hilary wanted to do that too. To take hold of Trenton’s arms, but he couldn’t make himself do it. He felt so clumsy and stupid and shy. “You don’t have to ask.”

“But I like hearing you say yes.”

The boy really could say the cringiest shit.

The next day was worse. They were smart enough to take their bags with them when they went to lunch, but when they returned to the classroom, there was semen on their desks and smeared into their textbooks. Hilary probably would have recognized it for what it was regardless, but the empty condom wrappers helped. It brought the fear back, and not lightly. He couldn’t afford to replace his textbooks.

When he went to Varda, he struggled to keep his voice even. “Knock it off.”

She turned those pretty eyes up at him. “Knock what off?”

“Do you know how expensive textbooks are?”

“I can think of one way for you to get money.”

He might have taken her up on it. It wasn’t just his own books that had been ruined, after all. But Trenton took him by the wrist and dragged him away. “Don’t talk to her.”