Page 24 of Hilarina and the Ogre

“You refused me before, but I’ve already seen you dance. Twice, actually. You really don’t notice anything when you’re occupied.”

“That’s because you’re so quiet. Always sneaking up on me.”

“I found the studio about a week after you moved here,” Trenton said. “I bike past it when I go to work, and your mother was taping a sign to the window. She made me come inside for a drink because it was hot, and once she was certain I wasn’t about to drop dead, she asked if I liked to dance. I said I’d never done it, and she told me to come to a class to try it out. I didn’t mean to do it. What would an oaf like me do in a ballet class except scare off all the kids and maybe snap the bar off the wall? But I was curious enough to look. I’d never seen real ballet before. When I came, you were there.”

Hilary had already heard too much embarrassing shit, so what was one more thing? But he was embarrassed. Enough to hide his face in Trenton even when he was supposed to be pushing him away. “You’re so dumb. If you say romantic stuff like that, of course I’m going to think you’re in love with me.”

“So friends can’t be romantic?”

“Not anymore. Maybe in the 1800s when they used to write those gay-ass letters to each other.”

Trenton laughed, and for a second, Hilary forgot what they were talking about, too stupidly pleased with himself to have made it happen. But then he did remember, and he was embarrassed again.

Trenton touched Hilary’s hair, and left his hand in it too, as if it was a nice place to rest. “It feels like I’ve always known you. Like it was supposed to be this, and I was just waiting for our lives to come around to each other again.”

“What do you mean again? I think I’d remember meeting a crazy ogre like you.”

“You don’t feel it?” Trenton demanded. “I feel it so strongly it’s hard to sleep these days.”

“That’s because the couch is so shitty.”

Trenton laughed again. Hilary had been so hoping that would happen, though it only added to the embarrassment to realize he’d been waiting for it.

Trenton pulled his face up. “Maybe I am in love with you. How would I know if I were? Tell me.”

“How would I know something like that?”

“You know everything.”

“Idiot, I don’t even know how derivatives work.”

“Yes, you do. You’re just pretending not to because you like riling me up.”

“Fuck that. I’m never doing math again. I’ll just drop out and force you to support me since you love me so much.”

Even saying it as a joke was difficult, and Hilary stuttered a bit over the words. Worse was that Trenton didn’t take it as a joke at all.

“Good. If you’re dependent on me, you won’t leave.”

Those words shouldn’t have been comforting. Hilary knew he ought to backtrack. “Of course I’m going to leave a crazy ogre like you.”

“You won’t. Because you love me too.”

“Who loves you? Idiot. Asshole. Delusional bastard who reads too much.”

“I do read too much,” Trenton admitted. “A little less now that I have you.”

“You don’t have me.”

“Then you have me. It’s the same thing, really.”

It was quiet then, enough for Hilary to be distracted by the hand Trenton was using to stroke his hair. It felt nice. It was always nice with Trenton, even with being annoyed by him most of the time.

“We could squash her,” Trenton said.

Hilary blinked, coming out of his petting-induced stupor a little. He hadn’t realized he’d fallen into it. “Squash who?”

“Varda. I can sit on her until she promises not to bother you anymore.”