Page 83 of Hilarina and the Ogre

“It’s not kidnapping if I’m telling you to do it.”

“You are now, but once you forget—”

“Then get my consent in writing. Or on video. But it won’t matter. I always fall for you anyway, right? I go along with everything. So let’s do it this way.”

Hilary was pale. “You’re crazy.”

“I thought you were crazier.”

“No. It’s you. You win.”

Trenton offered up the tape again. Hilary scowled. “And how does it help to have you screaming and panicked once you wake and find yourself chained up with your kidnapper?”

“I won’t scream. And anyway, I’m not going to forget.”

“I’ll go to prison, you know. Once they find you here.”

“They’re not going to find me. And even if they did, I’d tell them that getting tied up is a sex thing.”

“And who’d believe a virgin like you?”

“Not everyone knows I’m crazy.”

Hilary sighed, too tired to argue anymore.

Trenton kissed him, and it didn’t seem to trigger a fit—a good sign. Or maybe just another signal of the fatigue. “Let’s eat. I know you’re hungry.”

He sat Hilary down in his lap, kissing him between spoonfuls. Hilary wasn’t amused. “I know you’re just humoring me. You think I’ve made it all up, haven’t you? The whole fifteen years. Obnoxious. You only remember like ten minutes of your life, but you’re still so certain you’re right. You were always like this, you know. Baseless confidence.”

Trenton’s chest felt full again, watching Hilary eat his food somehow good enough to push through even all of this. “You put up with a lot.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

Hilary ate well, despite everything. And wanted dessert too. He liked sweet things when he was stressed.

When the man didn’t want to go to bed, Trenton tried the usual trick. “I’ll read to you.”

But Hilary wasn’t having it. “No. I’ll fall asleep.”

Trenton had thought it would feel good to learn the reason Hilary hated bedtime. But it was only another hammer blow to find that yet again, the man’s suffering was linked to him. In this, it was the fear of his leaving. Of waking and finding him gone.

“I’ll read poetry.”

He watched Hilary internally debate that. “It fucked you up last time.”

“You can protect me.”

Hilary cried a little while they read. Not like in the kitchen with the gasping kind of sobs. These were quiet tears that were absorbed by the blanket. They lay there together, Hilary’s head in his lap.

Eventually, Trenton’s voice became hoarse, and it was difficult to keep his eyes open. For Hilary too. He got out the tape again.

“You won’t sleep like this,” Hilary said, still procrastinating. “You won’t be able to.”

“If you keep my hands in front, it’ll be fine. Don’t forget my legs. You should tape my thighs and shins together, not just the ankles. Yeah, wrap it around. Just like that.” It was important to make it so that he couldn’t walk, not even to hop, so that if he tried to roll off the bed, it would make a huge thump and wake even a deep sleeper like Hilary.

“What if you need to go to the bathroom?”

“I’ll be okay.”