Page 36 of Silk and Sensibility

Miss Shen, the picture of demure humility in her cotton ǎoqún and lack of jewelry, turned out to be quite talkative. As dinner progressed, she took up all of Ailin’s attention with stories about her sad childhood as an orphan sent to live with her older maternal uncle, how lonely she had felt when her older sister moved away to marry a doctor, and how bereft she had been when her older uncle died from illness.

Ailin was confused by her eagerness to share so much of her life with a near-stranger, but she listened patiently, feeling pity for Miss Shen’s difficult life.

“I grew up in Suzhou because this is where my late uncle set up his school,” Miss Shen explained. “When he passed away, my only remaining relative was my younger Uncle Pang and he had already moved to Hangzhou to live with his wife’s family, so it was quite terrifying to be suddenly left without relatives in the city.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Ailin said, believing that sympathy was what Miss Shen sought.

Miss Shen dabbed at a tear in the corner of her eye. “How­ever, one of my older uncle’s students was kind enough to escort me to Hangzhou after arranging the funeral and burial. Wasn’t that chivalrous? Especially considering how dangerous things have been in the region lately with bandits and pirates.”

Ailin agreed. Teacher Pang’s student seemed like a noble person, a jūnzǐ.

Miss Shen dropped her voice even lower. “May I ask you a personal question as a new friend, Miss Duan?”

Ailin disliked the idea of revealing anything to such a recent acquaintance, but Miss Shen had shared so much about herself that she didn’t want to appear standoffish. She nodded reluctantly.

“Have you ever fallen in love?”

Ailin immediately thought of Enze and flushed. She had fallen in love, so assuredly that every brushstroke she painted carried her hopes for their future together, so deeply that her chest ached every day they were apart. But that answer was too private to share with someone she just met, even someone as friendly as Miss Shen.

“I don’t think so,” she said, hoping to end the conversation.

Miss Shen’s eyes grew wider and darker as she stared into Ailin’s face. “You’ve never met any man you desire to be your future husband?”

Ailin shook her head. Despite Miss Shen’s pressing, she would not reveal her greatest hope. After she built up her dowry and Enze officially proposed, she would proclaim her love with pride, but doing so prematurely felt like tempting fate.

Miss Shen smiled, suddenly happier than she had been all night. “I am glad. You see, that chivalrous student of my late uncle was my childhood sweetheart. We promised to marry each other, but I recently learned that another woman has been trying to steal his heart. Now I can rest assured that fox spirit is not you, my new friend.”

Ailin blinked. What on earth was Miss Shen talking about? Why would she suspect Ailin, who hadn’t even known of her existence until today, of having designs on the man she loved?

“That is a strange thing to say.”

“Is it?” Miss Shen laughed, a high-pitched sound like the jingling of little bells sewn onto a child’s toy. “My Enze is a very attractive man, and he recently cut short a visit to his older sister’s house because his sister found a woman in their household trying to lure him in.”

“Your Enze?” Ailin tried to make sense of Miss Shen’s words. She couldn’t mean the same Enze that Ailin loved. Ailin’s Enze was an upright and gentle scholar. He would never have made promises to her—he would never have kissed her—if he had promised to marry someone else.

“You know my Enze, don’t you, Miss Duan? Fan Enze of Hangzhou, younger brother of Madame Fan Fulan, brother-in-law of former magistrate Duan Junyou. That is the man who has promised himself to me for life. Here, I even have a lock of his hair.”

Ailin’s heart thudded as Miss Shen pulled out a small silk sachet from around her neck. She opened the sachet to reveal strands of hair tied with a red string before tucking it back under her shirt.

Ailin was speechless. Hair was a precious gift from one’s parents. For adults who weren’t Buddhist monks, it could only be cut as part of a wedding ceremony, to symbolize the union of a husband and wife. To bind one’s hair was an incredibly intimate act that Ailin couldn’t imagine Enze doing before marriage.

“Is that really his hair?” she asked in disbelief.

Miss Shen narrowed her eyes. “Of course it is. A proper young lady would not jest about something so serious as the man she intends to marry. Besides, he promised my uncle on his deathbed that he would take care of me for the rest of our lives. You wouldn’t doubt that, would you?”

Ailin felt dizzy. She didn’t know what she believed. Her heart told her that Enze couldn’t have promised to marry this woman, but she didn’t know if she could trust her intuition. Enze should not have hidden the existence of a childhood sweetheart like Miss Shen when he had been so open and honest about Miss Mo. Unless he had lied from the start?

Ailin shook her head. There was no way Enze could have lied so thoroughly. Not only had he told Ailin his insecurities, but he had also played wéiqí with Ming­ming and confided his childhood stories to her mother. He had won over her whole family with his genuineness. They couldn’t have all been fooled.

And yet, Miss Shen was right. No proper young lady would make such claims about tying her hair with a man’s if they hadn’t made a sincere commitment to marry, a commitment perhaps even more binding than whatever Enze shared with Ailin. The thought made Ailin sick.

“I’m so glad you understand me now,” Miss Shen continued. “Having the support of such a clever and accomplished fellow-woman such as yourself means everything to me. One of the reasons I was so excited to come with my Aunt and Uncle Pang to Batong Mansion was because I need all the support I can get. I’ve heard Grand­mother Jiang is a business genius who loves mentoring ambitious young people. I plan to ask her to help build up my dowry so Enze and I can marry faster. Having stayed here longer, do you think that is a good plan?”

While Ailin struggled to control her distress, the chatter at the head of the table wound down and Grand­mother Jiang’s attention turned toward her and Miss Shen.

“Lusi and Ailin, you girls seem to be deep in conversation. What interesting news are you discussing? If it’s about love and marriage, I may need to fish some information out of you.”

“Oh, madam, you don’t need to fish to find out who I want to marry.” Miss Shen covered her smile with her hand, a gesture any outsider might interpret as a sign of modesty. Ailin regretted not being able to see Miss Shen in that light anymore. “My Aunt and Uncle Pang already approve of the gentleman since he visited their home twice. We saw him only a few days ago too. I am not ashamed to admit my hopes at all. If you’re willing, I would appreciate your help to formalize a betrothal with him.”