Page 73 of Silk and Sensibility

Dressing simply in a wraparound ǎo over a plain skirt, she headed to her sister’s room down the hall.

Begonia was bringing Meilin some soup when Ailin arrived outside her door.

“You’re up, Miss Duan?” Sweat made Begonia’s hair stick to her temples, and she looked relieved to see Ailin. “If you’re feeling well enough, would you mind giving this to Miss Meilin? Madame Duan and Madame Meng need my help in the kitchen.”

“Is everything all right?” Ailin didn’t know about Aunt Meng, but it was rare for Mother to personally work in a kitchen.

“They’re making porridge to feed the poor. Since everyone came home safely yesterday, they thought it would be appropriate to do some good deeds to thank the heavens.”

Ailin was glad to hear about her mother using her time purposefully. Aunt Meng was a good influence on her. “Thank you for telling me, Begonia. I’m happy to take the soup to Meilin.”

Once in Meilin’s room, Ailin set the tray on a bedside table. Meilin had just awoken and was still lying down, so Ailin helped her sit up.

“How are you feeling?”

Meilin rubbed her eyes. “My arm hurts more today than it did yesterday. Who knew stitches would feel worse than an arrow?”

“You were really brave yesterday. Maybe you were too heroic to feel the pain then.”

Meilin cringed. “More like too delirious. Did you know I thought Captain Bai was a mirage when I first saw him?”

Ailin smiled. “I’m glad he wasn’t. I don’t know what we would have done without him.”

“I was wrong to always turn down his help before.”

Meilin tried to feed herself soup, but she struggled to stabilize the bowl, so Ailin took over and fed her instead. Between bites, Meilin frowned, and her face noticeably darkened as her earlier spirit faded away.

“Are you all right?” Ailin asked.

Meilin shook her head. “I miss my zither. And my arm hurts so much I’m afraid I’ll never be able to play again.”

Feeling terrible, Ailin set the soup bowl down on the tray. If it wasn’t for her, Meilin wouldn’t have broken her zither or injured her arm.

“What did the doctor say?”

“He said to keep the wound clean and give myself time to heal, but I don’t know how to wait. Ailin, it’s so hard. Since yesterday, everything feels different. What if we hadn’t escaped the boat in time? We were so close to dying. And I think about Captain Bai, and how he’s actively looking for Wōkòu so he can fight them. I’m scared for him, and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Ailin frowned. Yesterday, she had been so worried about herself and Meilin that she hadn’t thought twice about Captain Bai. Listening to Meilin, however, she realized how much Captain Bai’s well-being meant to her sister.

“We owe him a great debt. It makes sense for you to care about him.”

Meilin smoothed out a wrinkle on her blanket. “I think I feel more than gratitude toward him. Do you think I’m being foolish again?”

Ailin was taken aback by Meilin’s question. Was her hotheaded little sister really asking her opinion about how to manage her feelings after months of criticizing her for stuffiness? She cleared her throat. “I don’t think I’m the best person to ask.”

“Yes, you are, Ailin. You’re the most considerate, cautious person I know.”

Ailin almost laughed. “And yesterday, I nearly got both of us killed because I was so slow. You saved my life.”

Meilin shook her head dismissively. “I wasn’t even thinking yesterday. Whatever I did was just instinct.”

Ailin wrinkled her brows. She couldn’t believe that Meilin thought so little of her own strengths. If Meilin hadn’t insisted on staying with her, Ailin would have frozen on that hill, waiting to die. She would have given up after everyone else escaped. Meilin’s instincts had saved them both.

“To me, you’re braver than the exemplary women in the history books,” she said with all the sincerity in her heart.

Meilin frowned. “You know how much I’ve always looked up to you, Ailin. I don’t want fake words of comfort.”

Maybe yesterday’s events had profoundly changed them both. In all their years as sisters, they had never been so close to death. All through their childhood, Ailin had tried her best to protect and care for Meilin. But now, Meilin was grown and worthy of being looked up to herself. Her courage had saved them from pirates. Who knew what else Meilin was right about and what else she would accomplish in the future? Ailin had to convince her sister to believe in herself.