Page 84 of Silk and Sensibility

If you are bound to Miss Shen, please ignore the rest of this letter. However, if there is any chance you are not marry­ing Miss Shen, please know that I would love to have you as a son-in-law, for I am sure that my Ailin loves you.

Sincerely,

Meng Xiuyun

Ailin’s face burned. How could her mother have written all that to Enze? It was mortifying.

When Enze leaned down toward her, she looked up. It was impossible to ignore his lips when he spoke. “Do you really care for me as much as your mother says?”

Ailin was unsure how to answer appropriately. She had tried to deny her feelings for so long that she couldn’t imagine simply admitting them to him.

“What if I do?”

“Then I have more for you to read.” Enze pulled out a sheaf of paper covered with his neat, upright handwriting. The collection was thick. “These are all the letters I wrote to you while we were apart. I thought I would never share them with you, but now I think I ought to.”

Ailin took the sheets of paper and scanned through them one by one. Some were diary-like reports of his struggles, some were heartfelt apologies for perceived shortcomings, and some were transcriptions of classical poems when he was too emotional to compose his own words. The letters showed him at his lowest moments, as well as the determination that carried him through. His writing was just like him—deep, thoughtful, and honest. She felt like she was gazing into his soul, and it was beautiful. When she looked up, he shone as beautifully as his letters.

“Will you answer my question now?” he asked softly.

Ailin’s eyes clouded with tears again, but she smiled wholeheartedly as she threw her arms around him. “Yes, Enze. A thousand times yes. In this life, in the next, and every life thereafter, I will always love you.”

He moved his arms to return her embrace warmly and firmly. When he spoke again, his voice was husky and unsure. “I can’t believe this is real. I’m afraid I’ll wake up.”

She pulled back to look at his face, her inhibitions completely gone. Unlike the first time in Nuolan Garden when she was afraid of being discovered and unlike the last time in Hangzhou when she thought she had to make him give up on her, this time they were free and they were safe. She angled her mouth up to meet his.

He kissed her ardently, and she clung to him tighter than ever. Her heart beat stronger while her knees grew weaker. He was so sweet that she wished the moment could last forever . . . until she remembered they would have many more moments to come once they were married.

When they took a break to breathe, Ailin nestled her head into Enze’s chest, resting contentedly as she absorbed his warmth. Encircled in his embrace, everything felt right. Being with him felt like the most proper thing in the world.

我住長江頭，君住長江尾。

日日思君不見君，共飲長江水。

長江水不休，我心恨不已。

但因君心似我心，從未負相思意。

At this end of the river, I thought of you every day.

Though I couldn’t see you, we drank the same water.

The river flowed continuously, like my longing for you,

But since your heart matched my own, my love was not in vain.

—Poem by Fan Enze and Duan Ailin not to be seen

by outside eyes, in the style of Lǐ Zhīyí

Epilogue

Ming­ming

Happiness needs to be experienced to be understood. The double wedding of Ming­ming’s two older sisters was probably not the grandest that Suzhou society had ever seen, but it definitely was the grandest celebration Ming­ming had ever attended. Her father once told her stories about attending banquets at the royal palace in Beijing when he was a scholar at the Hanlin Academy. His stories filled her imagination with beautiful music, graceful dancers, and endless pastries, but the reality of Ailin’s and Meilin’s weddings was better because Ming­ming was present to experience it for herself.

The event was unconventional in many ways. Both grooms were not locals, and both needed to leave for the imperial capital soon, so the ceremony was held at Batong Mansion. As a result, the traditional palanquin procession from the bride’s house to the groom’s house was a loop around the neighborhood, which was fine because Grand­mother Jiang wanted to host all the guests anyway. Though such unorthodox practices could have lowered the prestige of the wedding, the grooms were so distinguished that all the local Suzhou luminaries came to get a glimpse of them.

The military men came for Captain Bai, and the scholars came for Enze. There were also admirers of Ailin’s paintings, not to mention all the merchants who had long-standing business relationships with Grand­mother Jiang and Uncle Meng. In addition to these guests was a large household of servants and children, which resulted in a lively party.