Page 101 of Jonesing for a Spy

“Are the pigs so there are no bones left when you’re done with me?” I say loudly.

Charlie lifts and drops one shoulder. “If required.” He turns and leads the way, holding the door open behind him. “Come on in. Shoes go here.”

Have I entered a parallel universe?

I go with the flow and kick off my shoes at the door, setting my bag down, and walking in my gray socks on his wide wood-planked floors. The warm glow inside his house is in stark contrast to the harsh utility lights I’m used to in Peoria.

He shakes my hand and tells Millie to go to her bed. “Can I get you a beer?”

I nod. “Thanks.”

I’ve just taken a seat when he looks at me stone-faced. “That’s my spot.”

What? I jump up. “Oh, sorry.”

His booming laugh echoes from the walls. “Just fucking with you. No one new comes here, and I’ve been wanting to try that since bingeing The Big Bang Theory again.”

I retake my seat after tapping the neck of my beer bottle to his. “After the week or two I’ve had, nothing would surprise me anymore.”

He falls into a recliner that looks like it’s never met a butt it didn’t like and twists my way. “What’s been going on?”

I give him the rundown of what I’m able to share, omitting meeting his Mom, the fact that the feds think I’m a terrorist, and that his sister is a freaking spy. Dammit. How did I miss it? June’s car—the 1962 Sunbeam—was a Bond car. It’s like the clues were all right there, and I was too lovestruck to notice.

It’s also why her mom couldn’t come upstairs that day Mikey and I were watching. I would’ve recognized her from The Prestige. Yup. Right in front of my face.

“So, let’s just say it’s been a shit few weeks. And I came down here to see Mirren, and she’s not here.”

He pulls back in confusion. “Where is she?”

“Peoria. Apparently, she had the same idea to get face-to-face.”

Charlie over-exaggerates a gag. “She told me, you know? Well, I knew. Mikey has a big mouth. But she and I chatted last night and got it all out in the open. I’m not happy with you.” He points his beer bottle my way and bobs his head. “But if it had to happen, at least you’re a decent guy. Don’t make me have to use the pigs, okay?”

“That’s the second Jones’ brothers threat I’ve received.” Third overall, but I don’t say it.

“Yeah, who? Hambone?”

“Mikey. He threatened to bury me in the desert with only my head sticking out for the birds to eat.”

“Nice.” His grin pulls wide. “I like the imagery. You want another beer?”

“Sure.” I lift my empty. “Do I need to worry about Jamie too?”

“Probably.” He saunters away on remarkably quiet feet for such a big dude.

Pulling out my phone, I text Mirren.

I’ll call you in a bit. I’ve been… delayed.

Mirren

Good to hear. Your mom is amazing. She said you’re out of town? Apparently I’m staying in Lorien’s old room tonight. Didn’t have this on my bingo card.

But you got cookies, right?

Oh my God. Does she put magic in those things? So good. I’ll need to be rolled onto the plane.

Speaking of, where are you?