Page 154 of A Wild Darkness

“I can’t go all the way back to the manor,” I protest her good intentions. “It’s on the other side of the property, isn’t it? That’s too far from him.”

River smiles. “There are nine bedrooms and thirteen bathrooms in Thornfell Lodge. Have your pick of them.”

I glance at my sister—she gives me a reassuring nod.

“Okay,” I reluctantly agree. “Getting cleaned up does sound good.”

My eyes circle back to Sebastian. His face is calm, and he’s as handsome as always. I lean in to kiss his cheek and whisper in his ear. “Be back soon. I love you.”

Lux and River give me a hand as I climb out of the hospital bed on uneasy legs.

“Thanks.”

My sister wraps an arm around me, helping me walk out of the bedroom. She leads me down a dark hall with wood paneling, similar to the ones at the manor. We pass a study and a sitting room before we reach a grand staircase. Ornate oak curved in a spiral leads us up to the next floor. Then she guides me into a large bedroom with burgundy tapestries and a massive fireplace.

“Right through here is the bathroom,” she tells me. “Aunt Mae brought some of your clothes over from the manor earlier today.”

With my limbs aching, I lower to the floor.

Lux smooths my hair. “I’ll start the water for you.”

The water flow sprays the stone flooring, and something about the sound of it causes my throat to constrict. “I’m sorry for getting upset with you the last time we spoke on the phone,” I blurt out, my emotions bubbling over.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But it was uncalled for. I shouldn’t be jealous of the closeness between you and Dad.”

Her forehead furrows. “No, you never should be. Just because Dad and I have similar interests, you’re his baby. You should hear the way he worries about you.”

A tear rolls down my cheek. “I guess I’ve always wanted to feel good enough. Being younger felt like I always had something to prove, you know?”

She nods, holding back a chuckle. “I understand. But you never have to prove anything. You’re a perfectly weird death-obsessed woman, and we love you for it.”

I laugh and sniff. “Do you remember when we were kids, and I used to hold funerals for our dolls?”

Lux rests her head on my shoulder. “Yeah, and I was too busy trying to figure out how the dolls died in the first place so I could rewrite their last moments?”

Another deep belly laugh rumbles from within me. “We’re both a little strange, aren’t we?”

“We’re who we are,” she replies. “And look at the men we’ve fallen in love with…”

“Serial killers.”

We share another laugh. “With a conscience…”

“And with their own dark traumas,” I add playfully.

I never imagined where Lux and I would be, the deep secrets we now share, and stepping into the darkness together—it’s mind-blowing and feels like a dream. The nightmare of what Sebastian is going through robs me of the moment of genuine appreciation for my sister, because in my soul, I don’t know how I’d walk this earth without him.

We sit together for a beat before I feel strong enough to get into the shower. Lux helps with washing my hair and braces me while I shave my legs. When I’m finished, she brings me a robe and helps me get some clothes on.

“Do you want to talk about what happened at Moore Mansion?” Lux lies on the bed, picking at the small bits of loose fabric on the comforter.

I kneel onto the mattress next to her, replaying the pieces of memory that’s coming back to me from that night. “I only remember certain things.”

“Like shooting the leader of the Society?” she whispers.

I sigh, squeezing my eyes shut. Quick flashes of movement mold together to form parts of the memory. Me grabbing the gun as Silas scrambled off the floor—his eyes red with fury—followed by a gut reaction, I can only explain as a feeling—and finally, the deafening sound of a shot going off.