Page 23 of A Wild Darkness

I sip my latte, shrugging. “Maybe.”

“More importantly, how do you feel about your involvement in all of this?” Lux asks.

I run a hand through my tousled hair, searching for the words to describe my ambivalence. “Honestly, Lux, I’m all over the place.”

“I get it. It’s a lot to take on. To be a part of something bigger than yourself is terrifying, and you worry every moment you’ll do something wrong or mess it up. And not to mention the level of danger.”

I can’t deny the drive pushing me toward doing this for my clients. Those people have a voice, too. But there is a part of me that also wants to prove it to myself.

I lean back in my chair. “The thought of being part of something bigger is incredible. Actually being able to take justice into my own hands. But if I can have a hand in saving some of them, why wouldn’t I take it?”

My sister’s eyes soften as she and I both share a moment of understanding of one another. “It’ll be risky, but their team will protect you.”

“I know,” I say. “Sebastian said the same thing.”

She reaches across the table to grab my hand. With a gentle squeeze, she smiles reassuringly. “You’re the right person to do this.”

I blow out a weighted breath.

“Also, don’t get mad, but I think while you’re working on this project you should move back into the manor.”

I cock my head to the side, expecting this to come up, eventually. It’s not the first thing I’d want to do—move into their manor—knowing that my sister will be gone with his cousin for six weeks. “I’ll think about it.”

“It would be safer. You know that.”

“I do miss Ben cooking for me.” Ben is Sebastian’s and River’s personal chef, and when I stayed at the manor, he made the most amazing food. And for someone who likes to eat, it was a dream.

She grins and nods her head. “I bet. He’s a gift, honestly. And Kristine and your other mortician Noah can handle Nevermore if you need to take some time off here and there, right?”

“Do you think I’ll need time off?” I ask, picking at the sticker on the cup. “Sebastian didn’t mention that.”

Lux shrugs. “I don’t know, but you’ll be committing to things with Sebastian, and it will take away from the mortuary at least a little.”

She’s right. I spend almost all my time at Nevermore. If I take on something like this, it could take me away from the business for a while. “I guess I hadn’t thought about it too much. I assumed I’d just have to do things here and there.”

Lux pulls her lips to the side. “I don’t know. I have no idea what it will entail, but I’d be prepared for anything. Maybe just have a conversation with them.”

I nod. “Yeah, I could make an excuse about taking on some volunteer thing and that’s why I’ll need them to step up a bit more.”

“Exactly. Something simple.” She takes a drink from her iced coffee.

“Yeah. I guess my normal routine will change a bit, won’t it?”

“Just until the project is over.”

I wipe a hand down my face, slightly panicking about not being able to come and go as I please. “I’m going to head to the graveyard this evening to clear my head.”

She tsks disapprovingly. “Dad doesn’t like when you do that close to nightfall.”

“I know, I know.” I sigh, rolling my eyes. “I have my pepper spray and my sweet defense skills.”

She laughs. “You know how I feel about all that, too.” Then her eyes widen. “Oh, and if you stay at the manor, you’ll get to continue your self-defense classes with Sensei Clark!”

“Totally forgot about their personal trainer,” I say. “I had one session with him the last time I was there.”

“He’s been great.”

Lux is trying to convince me to stay there, and if I’m being honest with myself, it’s sort of working.