Page 56 of The Last Warrior

This was not good. Not that she had done anything wrong. She had merely been female, acting in the role of his wife.

Rather he recognized the fault was his, alone. Was a man not supposed to face the rigors of living with a firm resolve? Indeed, as the old ones would say, a man should not be swayed by the physical pleasures of life, nor be cowardly in the face of danger. Instead, he should show fortitude, and perhaps in this instance, abstinence.

Abstinence?

The thought was not a pleasant one. Was it even possible to be married to his wife and abstain from the pleasure of her beauty? Even when she so sweetly teased him with it?

You must keep to your purpose. Do not become distracted by ways of the flesh. Though you are married, you, your people, must be willing to sacrifice pleasures of the flesh.

Damn! He cursed softly to himself, then sighed. Whether it was possible to forego the intimacy of marriage or not, he knew he had to try. But how?

Should he refuse to see her? Impossible. Not only was she his wife, he could very little deny she might have a part to play in his own personal drama. After all, was it not her voice from his dreams?

Here, indeed, was a dilemma.

Should he tell her? Would she leave him if he did?

And then he rememered:

“The truth is I want only the fact I am married legally, so my child is not born out of wedlock. But beyond this, I want nothing. I will require not a thing from you, not even your presence in my life, for once the child is born, I fully intend to return to England.”

There it is, then. He already had the answer to his question. But might she not have changed her mind about him, especially after tonight?

The truth was, from the beginning, when she had declared her intentions, a very male part of him had taken up the challenge. Essentially, he had scooped up the dare so easily, he had inadvertently made it his plan to cause her to change her mind.

It was an intention he still possessed.

Yet, it would appear she distracted him too greatly from his duty. Yet, if he were to keep her with him, he should be ready and willing to satisfy her physical need.

Unless…

If he could induce her to love him, perhaps the erotic nature of their life together might become unimportant.

However, could he make her love him?

Maybe. He already possessed her passion. Was love not the next stage?

Did he love her?

For all that the question was natural, it still startled him. But he was quick to recover; it was a pointless debate.

Whether he loved her or not, he did desire her, and therein was the root of the problem. He could not have her. At least not until such a time when he had released himself from this nearly impossible duty.

“Eya! Damn!” It was a maddening predicament.

Chapter

Fifteen

It was with a heavy heart when his path, at last, brought him back to her. As he silently crept up on her, he found her to be still hidden beneath his blanket, there, under their tree.

Coming up next to her, he startled her when he spoke. “Do not worry. It was only the footprint of a doe and a broken stick I found which caused the sound of a stick cracking. We are safe here, I think, but⁠—”

She sighed. “Will I ever become used to you sneaking up on me?”

“Next time I will make more noise so I will not surprise you.”

“I would be grateful.” With a teasing smile aimed directly at him, she opened up the blanket surrounding her, whereupon he saw she was not fully dressed. Indeed, she was sitting before him in a see-through white slip.