Page 52 of Strictly Against Policy

“I’m sorry you were expected to grow up so fast, Lina. No child should have to do that,” breathed Jonathan, voice gentle. “And now they expect you to be their parent and their wallet, it seems. That’s not right.”

I looked at him. He was a mix of emotions: from the frustration knotting his brows together, to the resentment pursing his lips into a thin line, to the care and softness of his gaze. My heart swelled at the sight of him and the raw emotions on his face as I continued spewing out parts of my life to him.

“You don’t have to apologize either. We all carry our own baggage from life, and we all make the best of what it hands us. Sometimes it makes us great. Other times, it makes us riddled with envy for others,” I said slowly. “I’ll be honest. I used to be jealous of you back in high school. You moved through the world with such ease and luck. From the outside, you were popular and well loved.”

My voice cracked into one that was not my own. It became squeaky and annoyingly weak, and I hated it. Yet, I couldn’t stop. I had to keep talking. I’d opened this ironclad door, and all the secrets I held close to my chest were all erupting out.

“You were close to your older sister, who clearly loved you. You had great friends. On top of that, you’re smart, charming, easygoing, and kind. Everything seemed to come to you so effortlessly and . . . I was envious. The only thing I knew I had over you was getting class valedictorian, which was why I purposely challenged you for the title,” I admitted.

I breathed harshly through my mouth as I continued. “I only did that to feel like I had something over you. But deep down, I wished I had your sister as my older sister, your amazing friends, and your seemingly smoother life. You looked like you had it better than me, and that was the root of my jealousy toward you.”

Time stood still for a long time, and all I could feel was the ache of my throbbing heart. Panic and regret began to surge through me. I emptied every bit of animosity, jealousy, and whatever emotion I could fathom when it came to my relationship with Jonathan Lo. But who was I to be this bitch and unload everything on him? I parted my lips again to apologize when he spoke up.

“I was jealous of you, too,” confessed Jonathan. The rigid lines drawn on his face ebbed out of him as his expression and every muscle of his body relaxed. “Little Miss Perfect.”

CHAPTER 24

Jonathan

The red spilling across Lina’s face burned brighter than any star. All the windows of my car were covered in a cloudy film of condensation, filtering out the only light present from the weak streetlights. It shrouded us in a low light inside of my vehicle, almost allowing us to sit in darkness. Silence occupied us for several moments, granting me the opportunity to listen to the sound of her breath—the tremor in it.

She ripped her gaze away from mine. Her face still glowing from her flush. Her hands busied themselves by unwrapping the strawberry candy she had offered me earlier. She placed it between her pretty, heart-shaped lips. A tiny shiver shuddered over me as the candy disappeared into her mouth with a soft suckle.

“I’m not perfect, Jonathan. You know that,” she whispered, avoiding my eyes.

“You are to me,” I said. I reached across the distance between us and cupped her chin. I directed her dark brown eyes to me as she gulped a breath of air. “You are flawless, Lina Lee.”

Her lips trembled as if she wanted to say something but couldn’t.

“I’m sorry for everything I’ve done—from being a complete asshole to you at work to being a dumbass in high school. I misunderstood you and made the worst assumptions about you. I said I never liked you, but I never hated you,” I insisted.

I looked into her dark eyes and sighed softly. “I’ve never hated you once. In fact, I hoped we could’ve been friends at first . . . But my offers to be friends were all rejected. I took the hint and settled on being your academic rival instead. And, yeah, I won’t deny it. I was bitter about that. In many ways, I wished we’d always been more than just rivals. That resentment, along with my misconceptions of you, festered into my dislike of you. I’m sorry about that and the things I’ve said and done to get you to just look at me—speak to me or acknowledge me.

“We’re practically one and the same. Much more than we both like to admit, but you’re better than me in every possible way. With your grades, your intelligence, your composure, and your persistence. Even now.” My words dwindled into a low breath. “You’re perfect, Lina Lee.”

Her breath quivered, “Jonathan.”

I continued. “You were Little Miss Perfect who got the perfect scores without having to put in a quarter of the work I did. You have always been the embodiment of perfection—from your perfectly symmetrical face down to the way you write,” I continued, my words sounding like a confession. “Now that I know more about you and all you’ve been through, I also know you’re strong. You’re such an amazing person, Lina. I can only wish I were half as incredible as you.”

Her lips trembled.

I swallowed down my ability to speak as I pressed my thumb down on her chin, prying her mouth open. The strawberry candy that had disappeared between her sensuous lips now shone like a tiny twinkle in the pocket of her cheek, enticing me to come closer.

“I want some of that sweetness too,” I gasped. Our breaths shook together as I brought up my other hand to hold her face, tracing the outline of her bottom lip with certainty. “No more games. Let me taste you, Lina.”

I waited inches from her lips.

She looked into my eyes for a moment, emotions storming across the haze of her own dark depths. Then, her lips touched mine. I sighed into her mouth before they could even fully press against mine. She fumbled with expected inexperience and clumsiness, so I quickly took the lead.

My hands reached for her smaller and colder ones, teaching her where she could place them: tangled in my hair, cupped against my jaw, or tightly gripping onto my shoulders. She could choose whichever, so I could show her the fire raging between us—slowly, sensuously, and confidently.

I wanted her. All of her. Her kisses, her mouth, her heart, and I’d give her every single shred of myself, too.

She clearly wanted me.

We wanted each other. I wanted to be her guiding light and show her what we could do when our worlds merged together.

I licked and nipped at her lips. Our breaths deepened in unison. My hands were all over her back, clawing to touch her skin through the thick material of the coat she had on. Lina whimpered, her breasts brushing against my chest. Our erect nipples pressed against the heat of one another’s bodies. I groaned with Lina as my cock began to twitch.