Page 77 of Crew Girl

“No.” His fault. Not hers. “It’s not happening.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He could tell she already knew the answer but, because she was a friend, asked anyway.

“Nope. I do not. It’s not going to work. It’s fine.”

“Why not?”

They’d reached the staging point so he ignored the question. Headed back to the truck with her for more gear. When he grabbed his tote from the truck, she did a double take at the For Sale sign in the back of the cab. “You’re selling Walt?”

He shook his head. Didn’t want to talk about that either.

Madison put her hand on his arm. “Cam. Is something going on?”

He closed his eyes and tried to picture a world where he could get away with lying to someone who was going to find out anyway. Couldn’t. Made himself tell the truth. “The shop’s in trouble. Dad had to lay off the other mechanics. I’ve been picking up the slack when I’m not in school or at practice, so… in answer to your earlier question… I don’t have time for a love life right now.”

He knew he wasn’t being his best self. Whoever that guy was. The one who’d felt like he’d been the real Fall Formal King when he’d seen Teagan? The one who’d laughed and joked with the rest of the crew after dusting off his dance moves? Or the one who knew his world wasn’t anything like the rest of the team’s? The only choice he had was to keep his head down, grades up, and work hard—at the shop, at school, and on the water. Being that guy was his only option.

“That sounds really hard.” Madison wasn’t pitying him. She wasn’t like that. Just saw someone hurting and wanted to help. “Can I give you a hug?”

“No. Sorry. It’ll make it worse. Here, let me get that.”

He put his bag down to help load up her arms with more gear. When the guys razzed him about stuff, there was something to fight back against. If he let someone in, let them comfort him like Teagan had wanted to last night? He was terrified he might lose it. Fall apart and not have a clue how to put himself back together again.

Once he’d gotten her loaded up, Madison tried one more time. “Are you sure there isn’t anything I can do?”

“I just need to get through this.” Today at the regatta there would be college scouts. If he rowed well enough, one of them might see something in him.

“Understoo— Ohhh, no!”

They’d both heard the crunch when she’d stepped backward, foot accidentally connecting with his duffel bag. He didn’t have to open it to know that was the sound of his reflective sunglasses crunching. But he did it anyway.

Madison looked horrified.

He felt sick. One of the frames had broken in half. Well, that was three hundred dollars he’d have to conjure out of nowhere. If his heart hadn’t cracked into little tiny pieces, too, he’d laugh. It was almost funny. Almost.

“It’s okay, Madison. Let’s get this stuff down to the base.” He just wanted to get out on the water and forget about everything but rowing. Feel the burn of his muscles as he pulled his oar against the water. Hit that sweet spot when he and the rest of the team were moving as one, propelling the boat against a force a thousand times stronger than them, but doing it anyway.

JOSH

The guys were in the erg room stretching out when Josh got to the boathouse.

Quaid was flat on his back getting Noah to press on his legs. “Harder, Noah. These hamstrings are still aching from my A-class dance moves.”

Josh caught Teagan’s eye. “Morning, Teagan.”

“Good morning, Josh.”

Their exchange was formal. Nothing to see here, folks. Nothing to see here.

Teagan poured smoothies from a huge pitcher. “C’mon, guys. Get your Eagle Juice.”

“What is this?” Quaid gulped half a glass down without waiting for the answer.

“It is Noah’s mystery recipe,” Teagan said.

Crabcatcher took a tentative sip of his smoothie, breathed a sigh of relief. “This is good, Noah.”