Page 42 of Tides of Love

“Tonito, since when do you remember your mother, hm? Since when do you call me first? My naughty child, what is wrong?” She didn’t give him a moment to breathe, and he loved her for it. Her Spanish, the one with the slight lisp, spun him back to his childhood.

“Mama, we spoke just… a few weeks ago, you act like we never talk.” He sighed, fond.

“That answers none of my questions.” He could hear the clink of a spoon against ceramic through the phone.

“What isn’t wrong?” He laughed humorlessly.

Everything spilled out like a confession. For just a moment, he wished he’d pulled his rosary before he called her. He told her about Lucky, about falling in love, about how sweet it tasted and how his heart ached when Lucky was sad… Then he whispered all the reasons Lucky was sad. Like a child begging for guidance, he explained the turtles and the land sale and the haunting nature of Lyrica Beach.

“A crime that will never leave us…” His mother’s sigh popped like static down the line. “Antonio Rafael Ángel Saavedra, are you still living under the ghost of that wretched man?”

“That man is my father, mama… He lives even when I denounce him.” Antonio rubbed his forehead tiredly, “I don’t know what to do.”

“The Marine Center cannot purchase the land? What are my donations going to, hm?” He could hear her smile. Even now, she loved Paradise. She left it behind, but she still loved it. He couldn’t fault her for it.

“Unless you’ve been donating in the millions without telling me, then I don’t think they can afford it. I think the donations went to that new renovation they did two years ago.” Why was he even entertaining that?

“They could do a fundraiser.” She hummed, but he could tell she was growing distracted from the conversation.

“A preserve… It’s not a terrible idea, mama.” He teased.

She clicked her tongue in reprimand, “Cruel boy. Then you only need to consider the money, Tonito. How much is it worth? How much is your Lucky worth?”

His chest tightened. Money. The Marine Center didn’t have it, but he did… He’d been using it to fund the Search and Rescue squad since the island’s grant only covered so much. A trust fund left by his grandparents, it could help. “What if they don’t sell it? They are discussing it behind closed doors. Who knows what kind of greased palms they have.” Bitterness leaked into every word.

“Degrease them with shame! That was the mistake I made, I did not shout or rave or shame them enough.” Her voice grew softer, “Antonio, what we cannot change will not change, but we must try so that we don’t live with those regrets, yes?”

Regret.

The reason his mother left the island when he was only fourteen. Things that weren’t her fault, but she irrationally blamed herself for. He was his mother’s child through and through.

“Sí, mama…” He sighed, a fond smile finding its way to his face.

“You just tell me if anything needs my signature. I’ll always make time for you, Tonito.” He could hear her dogs barking in the background, the little cute things she liked to put dresses on.

“Thank you. I’ll call soon.” He was about to hang up when she stopped him.

“Wait! Next time, do a video call! I want to see your little wife!” She was laughing at him, he could imagine the tilt of her mouth, one corner raised and caramel-colored eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Fine, fine, but be calm about it please. And he is not my wife!” He begged, “Bye.”

Antonio hung up before she could make any more teasing comments. He sat there for a while, staring down at the phone in his hands. There was a world of difference between an idea and execution. But he built SAR from a ramshackle group of underfunded wannabe heroes into a functioning organization. Maybe instead of just scolding them on TV, he could actually do something.

Soft hands slid over his shoulders, a warm weight settling against his back. He breathed in Lucky’s sugary scent. It wasn’t spiked with anxiety anymore.

“It’s early.” Lucky hummed into the back of his neck. Sweet kisses were pressed to the skin just above his t-shirt.

“A lot on my mind…” He huffed, “Both our minds, I think.”

“Think about it later.” Lucky nipped his neck, “When we’re ready and the world doesn’t feel so loud.”

“And here I thought you were the one who needed comfort.” He put his hand over Lucky’s as they smoothed over his shoulders to his chest. It wasn’t provocative, just reassuring in a way Antonio hadn’t even realized he needed.

“We both are.” Lucky rested his chin on his shoulder, a sigh brushing the shell of his ear. “It’s not something to be rationed.”

There were so many things he could say. ‘You’re right.’ ‘You first.’ ‘I want to be here for you.’ But the root of them was the same. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”