Page 37 of The Star in Room 7

“But do you want to?”

No. Not at all. I open my eyes and stare into his as I stroke his cheek. “What do you want?”

“You,” he whispers. “I haven’t wanted anyone in over a year. I told myself I couldn’t let myself want anyone.” He drags in a shuddering breath. “She’s not the only one who made me feel unsafe. I did it to myself by climbing into the closet and telling myself that the only way I could make it here was to put up walls and be someone else. But you make me feel safe.” He clutches my T-shirt in his fist and presses his head against my chest. “And maybe it’s all pointless, because if I give up on acting, I won’t be able to stay. I’ll have to go home. Being with you won’t last. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want it. I want you, Na— Daddy, so, so much.”

Him calling me ‘Daddy’ almost does me in. My body tingles with desire for him. It would be so easy to relent and give him what he wants. I want it, too. But I won’t. I will not take advantage of him. Not now. Not fresh out of his first scene. Not when his emotions are running high. I won’t give him any reason to regret tonight. I want him to look back at his first kink experience positively.

“I want you, too,” I assure him. “You are so beautiful.” Especially when he’s like this, vulnerable, his guard lowered completely.

“But—?” he whispers.

“Not tonight.”

He nods. “I understand.”

Does he?

“Could you at least hold me for a while, before you leave?”

“Yes.”

We lay in silence, our hearts beating as one. His fingertips move back and forth over my heart. I stroke his hair. My body screams at me, telling me I’ve made the wrong choice, but I know I haven’t. I’m doing what a good Daddy should—I’m taking care of my boy.

“Are you awake?” I ask eventually. I have no idea how long we’ve lain together.

“Yes.”

“I should go.”

“Will you be able to come tomorrow?” He sighs. “God, I’m being needy.”

“I don’t mind needy.”

He has every right to be that way, but it’s all the more reason I know I was right to hit the brakes. I’m his anchor. The one person he feels safe with. I will not take advantage of that. If he still feels the same way when he’s not fresh out of a scene and has had time to think, I’ll know he means it. As much as I can, anyway.

“And, yes, I’ll come by tomorrow. Do you want to go jogging?”

He murmurs an affirmative.

“Then I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Bright and early,” he says. “Ugh, I’m missing the gym.”

I hesitate for a few seconds before saying, “I have a small home gym.”

“You… What now?”

“I have a small home gym. You’re welcome to come and use it, if you want. It’s nothing fancy. Adjustable weights, a weight bench, resistance bands, and a pull-up bar.”

“That sounds like a full-body workout to me, especially on top of a morning run.”

I chuckle. “Got to get the cardio in.”

“Right?” Zach cups my face and stares into my eyes. “Are you sure you want to invite me over to your place?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’d love to come and work out with you.”