Page 54 of The Star in Room 7

He breaks the kiss and uses his thumb to wipe the stray tear winding its way down my cheek.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“What are you sorry for?”

“Being needy. Crying on you again.”

“You can cry on me as much as you need to. Obviously I’d rather you didn’t need to, but crying isn’t weak, sweet boy. Asking for help isn’t weak. Nor is asking to be held.”

“I want more.”

“What do you want?”

I fiddle with his shirt buttons, focusing on them rather than him. “I told you. I need you, Daddy. I need you inside me.”

He cups my cheek. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I look into his eyes. “I’ve never been more sure about anything.”

“If you haven’t had sex in a while⁠—”

I kiss him. “I’ve played with toys.” My stomach flip-flops. “Oh, God. What if she went through my things? What if she found my toys?”

Nate pulls me closer, stroking and kissing my hair. “Don’t think about that now.”

I press my head against his chest, fresh tears overwhelming me. He holds me as I sob. It’s ridiculous. I don’t know that she touched any of my things. But she did go into my bedroom. I know she went into my bedroom. The rose petals led there.

“I’m sorry. Everything’s fresh and raw from the therapy session and… Fuck! I’m messing everything up. I want you, and I’m fucking it up.”

“I’ve got you,” Nate promises.

“I want to be close to you,” I gasp. “I want you inside me, Daddy. I want… I want to feel something good and wonderful. I want to think about nothing but you.” I pull away and tug my hand through my hair. “And now I sound needy as fuck.”

Nate hugs me from behind, kissing my neck. “I’ve got you. Let me hold you, sweet boy.”

I turn into his embrace again, resting my cheek on his shoulder, my arms wrapped loosely around his back. Even standing, he manages to rock me from side to side, the action calming. I close my eyes, allowing everything to drift away except the strength of his embrace, the steady beat of his heart, the soft puff of his breath against my ear and temple, and the spicy scent of his deodorant. I let him become my rock. My anchor. The center of my universe. I let him bring calm to the chaos of my thoughts and emotions. In his arms, I can let everything drift away.

“You’re not fucking anything up,” he says softly. “Did you talk to Patrick about going back to your apartment, or letting it go?”

I nod.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I told him I was scared to let it go, even though I can’t afford to keep it.”

“Why, baby?”

“Because it means I’d be completely dependent on Phoenix allowing me to stay at Halo House, and that’s… That’s scary.”

“Why?”

I snuffle a weak laugh. “You remind me of me when I was five. That was the only question I ever asked. Every answer led to another ‘why’.”

He chuckles. “My niece and nephew were like that, too.”

“It’s cute.”

“I’m not sure their parents thought it was cute.”