Page 94 of The Tartan Thesis

Beau

Let’s focus on my unsettling love life. Then we can talk about wine.

Juliana

ugh fine

Lucas

Hmmm… I guess you can’t just spill your guts at the gym. After class doesn’t really seem appropriate either.

Beau

Right, and since an impromptu hangout after the gym doesn’t seem to be in the cards, we basically don’t have alone time where we could have the conversation.

Juliana

you’re only asking him to hang out after the gym?

Juliana

are you going to give him your heart over a blueberry and banana smoothie?

Beau

Better than over the weight rack.

Juliana

or you could ask him out on a proper date like a grown-up

Lucas

Juliana, you are as wise as you are beautiful.

Juliana

thank yeeeeewwwwww

Lucas

Think of it this way: If you want to be his boyfriend, you need to act like his boyfriend. Whatever a boyfriend would do, do that.

The answer really was right in front of me all along. Asking him to hang out for a healthy snack after a workout is friendly bro behavior, not boyfriend behavior. Even blow jobs are called bro jobs for a reason. If I want to date him, asking him out on a date is the way to go.

Beau

Thanks, pigeons. You’re right on all counts.

Juliana

*warbles excitedly*

Lucas

So you’re going to ask him out?

Beau