Page 12 of 10 Signs You Need to Grovel

Her husk-tinged voice has dismantled me, but the connection has also reignited my determination. Based on Sadie’s hesitancy to introduce me to Max, I was right about needing a plan before meeting him. A strategy to ease him into this new transition. Keep him safe emotionally. Figure out how to be a good dad in the process.

An idea forms. One that will take a ton of work, along with a shot of optimism. The largest obstacle, though, will be getting Lennon on board with my ramshackle plan.

FOUR

You know that saying “Time flies when you’re having fun”? Fun fact: it also flies when you’re scared shitless. It’s been three weeks since I spoke with Sadie. We’ve texted since then, but she’s been too busy with work and Max to meet me sooner. Although disappointed, I’ve used my time wisely. I bought a How to Parent for Dummies book. When I read the chapter that said kids react positively if adults share their “feelings,” I started to sweat. While I feel more panicked than dad ready, I’m running full-steam ahead with my potential meet-Max plan.

In three nerve-racking days, I’ll be facing the love of my life for the first time in eleven years to share said plan. Today, I’m facing my family, asking for help, also for the first time in eleven years. Milestones abound these days.

We’re in our usual meeting place, Lennon’s equally bland Houston apartment. Like my stark place, the sparse furniture is function over form, most of it acquired through garage sales or IKEA. The only aspect that makes his apartment nicer than mine is his vintage The Invisible Man movie poster on his wall. Wish I came up with that WITSEC zinger.

“So.” I eye my family, unaccustomed to being the convener of our gatherings.

Callahan, Jake, and Lennon are squished on the couch facing me. Mom’s sitting on Lennon’s small end table. E’s leaning into the wall, his arm wrapped around Delilah, the two of them so happy together some of my anxiety ebbs.

While Delilah was a pretty girl back in the day, she’s a gorgeous woman now, with big curly hair and those vibrant blue eyes. And she appears happy. Regardless of how E’s disappearance hurt her, she seems to have grown into herself and thrived. Knowing my determined brother, he likely fought tooth and nail for her.

Channeling some of his strength, I clear my throat. “I’m meeting Sadie in a few days.”

“With that hair?” Lennon shades his eyes like he’s watching a horror film.

I snarl, already losing my cool.

“No, seriously.” He turns to E. “He’s cutting the Fabio locks, right?”

“It’s kind of grown on me.” E twirls one of Delilah’s curls around his finger. “I like how the loose pieces cascade around his face.”

Jake spreads his legs into Cal’s and Lennon’s space. “When it’s down, it does cover the hairy amoeba ink on his neck.”

“It’ll give him and Sadie something to talk about,” Callahan adds. “They can swap hairstyle suggestions.”

I clamp my jaw so tight my ears hurt.

“The long hair softens his face,” Mom says, grinning the way she does when her boys are joking instead of scowling or fighting. And I can’t stay annoyed. Not when Mom’s happy.

If being the butt of everyone’s jokes makes her smile, my idiot brothers can take their shots. “Are you assholes done being assholes?”

Lennon scratches his reddish hipster beard. “For now.”

“Right. So.” I roll my shoulders back and crack my neck. “I need your help.”

No one moves. The apartment’s AC kicks on with a whir.

“We’re here for you,” Cal says, breaking the silence. “Whatever you need.”

What I need is a crystal ball. “Like I said, I’m meeting Sadie in a few days. She’s not bringing Max. Said he’s going through a tough time, and she’s worried meeting me could set him back. I’m dying to meet him, but the last thing I want is to hurt him in any way. So . . .” I turn to Lennon and huff out a sigh, knowing he’ll be insufferable about this. “I need you to start a branch of your kids’ camp in Windfall and hire me to lead hikes.”

The bastard smacks his leg and grabs his ribs, cracking up. “Sorry, I—” He laughs harder, tipping over. “I thought you said you want me to—” And again. “Hire you to work with kids.”

I glare at him.

“That’s enough.” Mom’s firm tone silences Lennon’s snickering. “What exactly are you wanting, Des?”

They all stare at me.

Feeling twitchy, I shove my hands into my jean pockets. “I haven’t spoken to Sadie about this yet and don’t know the details of what’s going on with Max, but I was thinking he might do better meeting me without knowing who I am. Pressure-free time for us to get to know each other. So when he does learn I’m his father, he won’t be so overwhelmed. Since Lennon already has these outdoors programs, I thought leading hikes with Max in the group would be a great way to make that work, but only if Sadie agrees. And if any of you see him during that time, you’d have to play along with the plan.”

“So you want to lie to your son?” E narrows his eyes. As do the rest of my brothers.