Page 50 of 10 Signs You Need to Grovel

Whatever. Olivia’s superhuman brain is the least of my problems, and the last thing I want to discuss with her is my job. Sure, I’ve earned good tips bartending, have been thankful for the work it’s provided, but it’s always felt like an escape. An easy out, instead of striving for something more fulfilling. And I haven’t earned enough to save for the big stuff.

College funds.

Retirement plans.

Life insurance.

Medical coverage.

On the stability factor Sadie mentioned, I hover around 0.15.

My stomach becomes an origami project, folding in on itself. Loving Max and Sadie is only a portion of being part of a family. A real parent and partner would provide for them, offer permanent security, but I still haven’t progressed past visiting the Duke Law website. I think my avoidance is fear of failure. Worry that I’ve lost my ability to study and focus. Maybe I’ll flunk out and hit a new low. Or I’ve just become an expert procrastinator.

I return to the group and try to shake off my unease. Sadie’s attention lingers on my face, her expression eager but still shy, like she can’t believe she asked me out. Channeling my old cocky ways, I give her a wink.

“Can we go already?” Jasmine is shockingly not glued to her phone. She’s gripping her group’s compass, face intent. An explorer ready to venture into uncharted land.

Actually, all the kids are up and antsy, not rolling their eyes or sprawled over the grass half-asleep. Max is beside Jasmine, analyzing their map. He points to the page, then points toward the taller elevation at his right. She nods. Zoey crams herself between them to get a look as well. And I need a second. A moment to breathe through this rush of warmth invading my chest. The same sensation I felt during the glow stick scavenger hunt.

These waves of emotion could be Sadie and Max related, but they remind me of the thrill of throwing a touchdown, the blast of accomplishment I felt when I aced my LSATs. Like I’m proud of myself. Which is kind of sad. This is a group of preteens, who generally get under my skin and test my patience. I mean, look at Carter pretending his compass is a grenade launcher, making his pew-pew sound effects, while Jun pretends to get blown to pieces. Couple of idiots.

Anyone with a half a brain could entertain these kids. Stability and security. That’s the tough stuff I need to figure out. This afternoon, though, all my time will be devoted to Sadie and the perfect impromptu date I have planned.

FIFTEEN

Sadie parks her car behind mine, eyeing the forest as she joins me. “Are we going on another hike?”

“Nope.” I pull a bag from my back seat, swing it over my shoulder, and walk toward the woods up ahead. I couldn’t have asked for a better afternoon for this surprise date—warm and quiet, without another soul around. The only downside is we’re still wearing our yellow Littlewing T-shirts. Cute on Sadie. Not so cute on me.

She falls into step, her ponytail swaying with her eager steps. “Are you sure, because this feels pretty similar to hiking.”

“Still no.”

“Can I have a hint?”

“What’s the fun in that?”

She slants me a cheeky look. “So now you’re saying I’m not fun?”

“I’m saying you have to trust that I’ll bring the fun. Your only job is to join me.”

“Okay, fine.” She adds a bounce to her stride. “But what’s in your bag?”

I laugh at her impatience and knock my elbow into hers. “Quit it with the questions.”

She hums under her breath, strutting so happily she’s practically skipping. I expected Sadie to be a bit reserved for this date, still shocked she asked me out. Nervous and maybe shy. She looks like she’s on her way to her favorite art exhibit. “Are you just excited for this incredibly fun, unbelievably impressive mystery outing I’ve spontaneously planned, or is something else putting that grin on your face?”

She lifts her head to the cloud-dotted sky and smiles wider. “I got good news on the drive over—about the modern art museum job.”

I stop walking and face her. “You got offered the position you wanted?”

“Sarah’s offering us something. No details yet, but we’ve booked a video meeting for later next week.”

“Sadie.” I pull her into a hug. Can’t resist. I cradle her close, so impressed with her drive and ambition and relieved she’s getting a chance to reclaim a part of her life she lost when raising Max. “You deserve every good thing. The best of the best.”

“Thank you,” she whispers and nuzzles in closer. Presses her face into my chest in a way that anchors me. Makes me feel like I have a place in this world. “It’s all kind of surreal right now.”

I release my tight hold on her and gently link our fingers together, testing whether this type of affection is okay. She glances at our held hands, and the quietest contented sigh escapes her.