Page 62 of One Wild Wish

I picked up a grape and peeled its skin—a habit that drove my brother nuts—one thin strip at a time. “Fine. But this stays between us. Gwen and Ainsley would never let me live it down.”

He rolled his hand, coaxing me on, and I sighed, slipping the naked grape into my mouth. “Big Bird,” I said.

“You wanted to be a big bird? As in fly?”

“No, like Big Bird. From Sesame Street. I wanted to be Big Bird.”

He tipped his head back, laughing. “Oh, babe, that’s priceless. I’ll be in charge of Halloween costumes this year.”

“Not on your life.” My cheeks heated, and when his comment sunk in, they positively burned. Halloween was in five months. Jimmy was imagining us together…in five months.

Why had I fought this feeling so long?

Still chuckling, he wrinkled his nose at my grape peelings and grabbed another, chewing slowly. “What’s your greatest fear?”

The mood sobered, intensity in his gaze. We hadn’t spoken of our argument yet, but it was there, below the surface, under the lines etched between his dark eyebrows. If nothing else, I owed him my honesty.

“Disappointing my family. When my brother got in trouble for leaving his room messy, I’d run to mine and check that my clothes were put away. Mitch has always been smart and driven, but he pushed his boundaries—skipping classes and winding up in detention. The more he rebelled, the tighter I toed the line. Like I had something to prove, maybe. The one time I colored outside the lines was with a guy like you.”

“Like me?”

“Not like you like you, but the dangerous kind with blue hair and ink and a collection of punk albums. Dating him drove a wedge between my mother and me, and it ended in a huge fight with my dad, which was the last time I saw him. So all this stuff”—I gestured between us—“the way I’ve put you off and have been difficult was tied to this fear of mine. Letting my parents down again. Especially my father.” I rubbed at a dry spot on my heel.

He placed two fingers under my chin and forced my eyes on his. “You’re a strong woman. Independent. You have friends who love you, and you care about your mother and brother, more than most people I know. He’d be proud.”

Tears threatened again, a familiar wave of regret and sadness and longing for my father. A day didn’t pass where I didn’t think of him or silently ask his advice. When I opened my heart to the pain, it became hard to breathe. Even now, five years later, his loss had the power to break me.

I grasped Jimmy’s hand from below my chin and kissed his palm. “What about you? What’s your greatest fear?”

He threaded our fingers together. “The opposite of yours. Ending up like my father. Cold. Bitter. Stubborn. Having kids and never showing them affection. I’m scared I’m just like him.” Turmoil thickened his voice.

He may have been a stubborn mule—exactly how Alena had labeled her husband—but Jimmy was as far from cold as a man could be. “When I’m with you, you make me feel sexy and precious. That’s a man unafraid to show affection.”

He untucked one of his feet and placed it by my hip, settling his inked elbow on his knee. He ran his fingers through my damp hair. “You do crazy things to me, Sunshine.”

I purred at his admission. “The feeling is mutual. And I know you’re angry at your family, but that’s because you care. Apathy would be worse.” I touched his toned calf, dragged my nails through his dark hairs. “What happened? I want to know, and I won’t get mad. I just want to understand.”

Drawing a deep breath, he stretched his neck and exhaled. Then he spoke softly, the story binding us closer. We could share our hopes and dreams all we wanted, but the ugly truth was the iron that branded lovers. He started with Sophia, a name I was starting to loathe.

Meeting her in the grocery store had itched at me, but that was before. Now Jimmy was mine. My jealousy was irrational, but here I was, playing that name game in my head, rhyming Sophia with Banana-fana fo-phia like a schoolyard bully. Pulling her hair and kicking her shins would have felt better. Still, I listened. His hand was in my hair, mine on his leg as he bled it all out: Sophia’s family, the land dispute, and the ultimatum dished out by his father. The worst was the argument.

“The bastard tried to hit me.” Jimmy practically spat the words. “I was bigger than him, stronger, but he was so mad he raised his palm to backhand me across the face.”

He pulled away, releasing my neck to scrub his own. His body bristled with anger. “When I caught his wrist, he was livid. Called me a mistake. A disappointment. Told me no son of his would marry an enemy. The whole thing was surreal, like we’d spun the clock back to the sixteenth century. But he meant every word, and my mother listened to the whole damn thing. Aside from yelling at him once to stop, she let it play out. Neither of them called afterward, not that I would have answered. I had Sophia and, as far as I was concerned, she was enough. Until she fucked me over, too.”

He dropped his head, as though the weight of his confession pressed on his shoulders. When he looked up, his eyes were a river of pain. “They discarded me like trash. Who does that to their kid? And why does it still hurt?”

Heart breaking for him, I pushed the bowl of grapes aside and straddled his lap. “Because you still love them. They’re your parents, your family, and you still care.” I pulled his head to my chest and pushed my fingers through his hair. “You might not be ready to forgive them now, but maybe in time, you will. Maybe, if you have a family one day, you’ll want your kids to meet their grandparents.”

He fisted the back of my shirt and buried his face in my neck, but he didn’t reply.

My lingering guilt bloomed. He was right, earlier, saying he wasn’t the bad guy. My father had loved me. We may have had arguments, and I’d thrown a tantrum or fifty growing up, but I’d never questioned my place in my family. To be told you weren’t wanted could push anyone over the edge. Add losing your livelihood and love, and it was no wonder Jimmy shut them out.

If his mother called now, I’d probably give her a piece of my mind. Nice Rachel would let Reckless Rachel loose.

But there’d been regret in Alena’s voice. She missed her son, and his father might have come around, too. It was still possible for her to ease Jimmy’s pain. For that, I would help any way I could. Jimmy couldn’t be pushed, but if the situation presented itself, I’d find a way to bridge the gap between them.

There was still one question left to ask. Something that had been gnawing at me. “Sophia…” I said hesitantly. “Did you ask her to marry you because you loved her, or were you trying to upset your father?”

Jimmy pulled back and stiffened. His hands ceased coasting along my spine. “Why would you ask that?”

“It’s just, I don’t—”

“Forget I asked,” he said, cutting me off. His cheeks hollowed, shadows darkening his face. “Sophia is in the past. We’re over. What happened is done.”

Like after the grocery store incident, he was shutting down, unable to relive that time of his life. It was unhealthy, and if I had to guess, I’d say aggravating his father had had something to do with that relationship. I’d walked the “provoke your parents” path. Dating Gabe had intrigued me, but he was more of a symbol. A way to prove my independence. If my father hadn’t died, if I hadn’t spent the last five years living the life I believed he and my mother had wanted, I’d probably look a lot more like Jimmy—riding a motorcycle, piercings hidden under my clothes.

Bad Boy and I were more similar than I’d realized.

He would need to face what had happened eventually, maybe own some part of the disaster. A mountain we’d climb another day. Our night had been intense enough, and I still had apologizing to do. With my body.

I shifted my hips, a subtle rocking that had him gripping my sides and pulling me closer. He thickened between my legs, and air hissed through his teeth. We lost ourselves in each other. Our fight, my job stress, his family drama, and all he couldn’t face—everything faded, the only tangible feelings being our connection. And desire. And a pinch of ohmyfuckingGod.